Jeff Bezos: ‘Trump can go to hell & yes, Free Shipping!’
Back in the 90’s, while living in my hometown of Maryland, I was pushing a grocery cart in the passing lane doing a big weekly shop.
With my cart half full – suddenly all the lights went out & it was black on black.
There was silence & then murmurs; rolling from one aisle to the next like a chorus gaining momentum.
Then, for one brief moment – my mind went into an even darker place; I could take whatever & who would know?
Did I say I – I mean anyone. Hee hee
But, the mind works in mysterious ways & found myself outside the store into the light of the honorable – scratching my head, leaving my carefully chosen groceries behind.
That’s called a conscience & keeps most of us honest & out of the government. I mean, hoosegow.
Today, it occurred to me, Donald Trump may be doing the opposite – gathering the spoils to add to his already overflowing larder: Trump Loots America.
When I say ‘loot’ – I also mean bringing down people he hates & right those who have wronged him – like Amazon/Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos. Why? He may have a nickel more than Trump says he has! (not to mention – jealous of his new d**k pics)
I figure Trump & his family had over 2 years to do the dirty, plus the 18 month campaign-branding-circus & the opportunity to move money from one Russian Laundromat to the Cayman’s, to the Swiss Alps & thru Melania’s legs – making its way into Trump’s fur-lined pocket.
I don’t have confirmation on the legs part yet; but I’ll get back to you.
But, you’ve got to admit, it’s very exciting to be a thief at the highest level – after all, Trump accomplished the ultimate & needs to reward himself – he even told a Goldstar Family he made a sacrifice giving up the good life.
With not too many options left – the pickings are his to take in the interim; shaking every piggy bank from franc to ruble – playing no favorites – as it all comes out in the off shore wash.
Here at home, he’s like a dog with a boner: ‘I’m asking all the government agencies for loose change so I can build the wall’.
Tony Schwartz, co-writer of “The Art of the Deal” & star witness to Trump’s ticks & flaws; predicts Trump will resign & with his usual spin; turn defeat into a victory. A little late for ‘you can’t fire me – I quit’ but still protecting his tail feathers.
So, there you have it – a bunch of hunches & so far no sound of handcuffs clicking!
Trump may simply do what I did when leaving my old Gov’t clerical job – took pens & paper clips & never looked back!
As for today & my sticky fingers conundrum – now when I grocery shop I’m like a Neanderthal hunter & gatherer – I grab & run.
And, of course, pay for it!
Marilyn Sands is a former 80’s Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.