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Fake News

There Can Be a Hundred People in a Room and Ninety-Nine Don’t Believe in You


“You know, there can be a hundred people in the room and ninety-nine don’t believe but all it takes is one.” —Lady Gaga in an interview with Bradley Cooper, August 10, 2018, Entertainment Weekly on YouTube

“There can be a hundred people in the room and ninety-nine don’t believe in you but I had this one and he believed in me.” —Lady Gaga, September 9, 2018, TIFF Premiere of A Star Is Born

“You know, there can be a hundred people in a room and ninety-nine don’t believe in you and just one does…” —Lady Gaga, October 4, 2018, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

There can be a hundred people in a room and ninety-nine don’t believe in you but all it takes is one…

There can be a hundred people in a room and ninety-nine don’t believe in you but one does, and often that person is just yourself.

There can be a hundred people in a hundred different rooms and none of them believe in you. Sometimes things just work out like that.

There can be a hundred people in the room and ninety-nine do believe in you but all it takes is one person not believing in you and you’ll remember it for years.

There can be a hundred people in a room, and if ninety-nine of those people start jogging at 2.5 km/hr going north, and one of the people starts jogging south at 4 km/hr, assuming they begin jogging at the same time on opposite sides of the room and the room has a dimension of ninety-nine feet, how long will it take for the ninety-nine people (who don’t believe in you) cross paths with the one person (who does believe in you)?

There can be a hundred people in a room, and ninety-nine of them believe, and one of them is an atheist, that conversation is going to take a while.

There can be a hundred people in a room, and ninety-nine of them hold beliefs that are nuanced and grounded in lived experience, but it only takes one person’s incendiary Facebook post to cause the dialogue to rapidly devolve.

There can be a hundred potential Facebooks in a room, and ninety-nine of them don’t believe they’ll ever get funding, but it only takes one venture capitalist to create a startup incubator.

There can be a hundred venture capitalists in a room and ninety-nine of them don’t believe in anything anymore—not love nor family nor the strength of humanity against adversity—but it only takes one keynote speaker to inspire them to retire early and write a motivational memoir.

There can be a hundred motivational memoirs in a room, and ninety-nine of them are terrible, but it only takes one unpaid intern to filter through them all, because that room is the intern room at a TV production company.

There can be a hundred writers in a TV production company’s room, and ninety-nine of them are just waiting around for lunch, but it only takes one writer’s PA to make sure that everyone gets the right lunch order.

There can be a hundred lunches in a room, and ninety-nine of them are totally acceptable, but it only takes one tenacious Philly cheesesteak to make the room smell for hours.

There can be a hundred vacant rooms in a building, and ninety-nine of them somehow smell like cigarettes and Philly cheesesteak, but it only takes one entrepreneur to rebrand it as a suite of overpriced lofts.

There can be a hundred lofts inside a bigger loft, and ninety-nine of those lofts also have a loft inside of them, but it only takes one artist to call the whole thing an “experiential pop-up installation.”

There can be a hundred installations in a room, and ninety-nine of them are decent, but it only takes one art critic to deem the whole thing “not as good as last year’s Art Basel.”

There can be a hundred critics in a room, and ninety-nine give a film good reviews, but if a movie is a genre film there’s no way it’s getting an Oscar nomination.

There can be a hundred guys named Oscar in a room that has no electrical power, and ninety-nine of them can be explaining how to fix the transformer, but it only takes one of them to actually fix the transformer.

There can be a hundred Transformers in a room, and ninety-nine of them can be CGI, and only one of them is played by Meryl Streep, and that Transformer will get an Oscar nomination.

There can be a hundred Oscar nominations in a room, and that room is in Meryl Streep’s house. Damn it.

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