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Fake News

The Trump Cabinet Quiz – Rod Bartchy, Humor Times

Try your hand at the Trump Cabinet Quiz!

Think you’re so smart about politics and policy? Let’s listen in as Professor Blins Blinsson at West Central Minnesota State Agriculture and Community College subjects his Unified Government History 201 (UGH 201) class to the dreaded Blinsson midterm on the Trump Cabinet.

Trump Cabinet Quiz“Good morning, class. Today’s mid-term is on the Trump Cabinet. Yes the Cabinet changes as often as the definition of the word ‘collusion.’ But reliable sources assure me that no Cabinet changes are contemplated for the next two hours while POTUS is rearranging his collection of Fox News bobble head dolls.”

“Now phones off. No Googling. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

1. Who is the Secretary of Agriculture?

A. Frank Perdue
B. Jim Perdue
C. Sonny Perdue
D. Sunny N. Philadelphia
E. Colonel Sanders
F. Sarah Huckabee Sanders (no relation to the Colonel)…(that we know of)

2. Who is the Secretary of the Interior?

A. Ryan Gosling
B. Ryan Copper
C. Ryan Zinke
D. Paul Ryan
E. Ryan Seacrest

3. Who is the Secretary of the Exterior? *

A. Rex Tillerson
B. T. Rex
C. Mr. T
D. Mike Pompeii
E. Mike Pompeo

*Student note: POTUS uses this term, citing his love of symmetry with the Secretary of the Interior position. You’re sophomores now, figure it out.

4. Who is the Director of the Ulterior? *

A. Eddie Haskell
B. Gina Haspel
C. Boris Badanov
D. Moose and Squirrel

*Student note: So fond of his Interior and Exterior idea, POTUS has gone for the trifecta.
If you were awake during the Mind of Trump guest lecture by Rand Paul,
this should be any easy one.

5. Which of these is not the Secretary of Energy? Circle all that apply.

A. Steve Perry
B. Katy Perry
C. James ‘Rick’ Perry
D. Perry Mason
E. Perry Como

6. Who was Designated Survivor at the last State of the Union Address? Circle all that apply.

A. Sonny Bono
B. Sonny Corleone
C. Sonny Perdue
D. Sonny Tufts
E. Kiefer Sutherland
F. C’mon, even Trump wouldn’t let someone named Sonny run the country
G. Yeah he would

7. Which Cabinet Office has logged the most jail time in history?

A. Agriculture
B. Attorney General
C. Interior
D. Posterior
E. Commerce

8. Which is not a Trump Cabinet Department? Circle all that apply.

A. Housing and Human Services
B. Health and Urban Development
C. Health and Human Development
D. Housing and Urban Services
E. Is this test graded on a curve?

“Answers? You want the answers?! I want a fat government grant to study differences in first class airline amenities worldwide. But noooo… Steve Mnuchin at Treasury already awarded that to himself!”

“Ok, time’s up. Lowest score owes me a 2000 word term paper on Ivanka’s Middle East Policy. Good luck with that one.”

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Rod Bartchy

Rod Bartchy lives in Philadelphia, where he writes humor essays, tutors kindergarten and plays Scrabble to excess. His work has appeared in the Broad Street Review, The Chestnut Hill Local, Humor Outcasts, True Humor, The Short Humor Site and the Humor Times.

Rod Bartchy

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