Homepage / Fake News / The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un
This Short Story Has Truly Tickled My Tinglewomble The Things You Notice On Your First Run in a While This Whole Flood Thing Sounds Pretty Bogus An Ice Cream Truck | See Plum Run Gov. Cuomo, Please Repeat That America “Was Never That Great” Mueller Ready To Deliver Major Parts Of Findings After Midterms I’m a 9-1-1 Operator who Loves the Movie “Titanic” Conor McGregor Announces Plans to Fight JFK International Airport If Any Autistic Kids Are Tryna Go To Prom With Me, I’d Be More Than Happy To Do That Shit (By Logan Paul) ‘You Are All Inside Amazon’s Second Headquarters,’ Jeff Bezos Announces To Horrified Americans As Massive Dome Envelops Nation Manny Machado Denies Playing Dirty After Late Slide Into Pitcher’s Mound Timeline Of The U.S. Supreme Court The Weird Lore of the Wendigo and Why They're Kinda the Original Zombies Mirena Releases New 10-Blade IntraUterine Sperm Shredder Why The Scariest Episode Of 'Goosebumps' Is Even Scarier Today Twitter To Totally Ban ‘Retweets’ | Adobo Chronicles A Thank You Note From My Ex’s Current Girlfriend Trump Has Raised Over $100 Million For Reelection Campaign 5 Real Life Cryptids You'll Deal With On A Daily Basis Skip Bayless Rips Shannon Sharpe’s Heart From Body During Debate On Cowboys O-Line Why You Shouldn't Have a Gender Reveal Party Your Horoscope for When the Trappist Exoplanets are in Retrograde Study Finds Over 5 Million Birds Die Annually From Head-On Collisions With Clouds FAA Study Finds 64% Of Engine Failures Caused By Henchman Being Kicked Into Turbine These Rival Gang Members Came Together To Help Build A Community Playground To Fight Over Ugh, Political Comedy is the Worst Bearded, Keffiyeh-Clad Jared Kushner Avoids Conflict Of Interest By Joining Saudi Royal Family KIND Bar CEO Admits They Just Sort Of Find The Bars Like That Heaven Can't Wait National Fraternity Conference Chooses Least MILF-ish Celebrities Canada Starts Legal Marijuana Sales Elizabeth Warren Refuses To Withdraw Candidacy and Announces Presidential Bid How To Charge Your Phone Faster Sprinter Feels Like An Idiot After Finding Out About Jogging Thom Yorke Admits Vast Majority Of Musical Output Fueled By Constant Fear Of Being One-Upped By Coldplay Lottery Ticket Holder Has Already Spent $900 Million In Anticipation Of Winning Big Prize Why Candy Corn Is the Best Halloween Candy, Hands Down Judge Denies Manafort Request To Wear Suit In Court Embarrassed CDC Announces It Accidentally Switched Flu Shots With HIV The Midterm Intervention | HumorFeed A Book Review Of Madeleine Albright’s ‘Fascism: A Warning’ Yankee Candle Clarifies That Product Only Intended To Be Dripped On Balls C-3PO's Origins & HP Lovecraft | Um Actually AC/DC’s next release to be a concept album based on The Krankies I Lost 80 Pounds Just by Exorcising the Demon That was Inhabiting My Body Finding A Great Woman Online: Is It Possible? New Ted Cruz Attack Ad Declares Beto O’Rourke Too Good For Texas Spot Where Dog Vomit Cleaned Up Now Noticeably Cleaner Than Surrounding Floor Is Sen. Warren Featured In The Pocahontas Exhibit At The National Museum Of The American Indian? Viewer Discretion Advised President Implicates Mysterious 400 Pound Man In Journalist’s Disappearance The 4 Disgusting People Who Led Me To Abandon The Priesthood After My Hand Touched Their Tongue While Feeding Them A Communion Wafer Sears Files For Bankruptcy Texas Rangers Asking Taxpayers To Cover 60% Of Bribes Related To New Stadium The Onion’s Guide To Blockchain Technology Elizabeth Warren Releases DNA Test On Native American Ancestry The Midterm Intervention – Will Durst, Humor Times Authorities Say Blacklight Analysis Shows Velvet Poster Of Mushroom Kingdom Looking Even Cooler Than Previously Imagined Melania Trump’s Plane Forced To Make Emergency Landing After Smoke Begins Billowing Out Of First Lady Front-Porch Politics: Everyone Wants Populist Reforms All The Good Sentiments On ‘Get Well Soon’ Card Already Taken Why 'Rings' Has the Dumbest Horror Movie Ending Ever Financial Experts Recommend Young Grifters Start Laying Groundwork For Long Con By 25 Only I Can Insult My Mom House Haunters: HGTV’s New Spooky Halloween Show Homemade DNA Test Proves Trump Boys Are At Least One Jar Blood 5 Party Games For People With Social Anxiety Trump: ‘The Only Way To Find Out What Happened At The Saudi Consulate Is To Send In More Journalists One At A Time’ Dad Apparently Using Spanish Accent To Pronounce Middle Eastern Food Now Arkansas City Posts Bid To Host 2032 Summer Olympic Games Has Your Mother Been Seduced Into Joining a Polygamist Cult? University Suspends All Lightweights From Campus Following Fraternity Hazing Death Saudis Admit Journalist Khashoggi Died During Botched Assassination Attempt Smiley Face Doodled On Check Commemorates Undeniable Chemistry Between Waiter, Ericson Family Tips For Giving A Great Wedding Toast Golden State Raises 2018, 2019, 2020 Championship Banners This Angry Mob Is Never Going To Grow Until We’re More Welcoming To New Members Democratic Candidate Blows Fundraising Lead On Massive 15-Story Lawn Sign ‘The Conners’ Premieres Without Roseanne Barr ‘Roseanne’ Spinoff Showrunner Hopes Big Puddle Of Blood In Kitchen Enough To Explain Main Character’s Disappearance Smitten, Trump Hires Kanye at Lunch Mike Pompeo Impressed By Realism Of Saudis’ Halloween Decorations The Jerry Duncan Show interviews Justice Brett Kavanaugh and Senator Diane Feinstein Melania’s Heart Sinks After Realizing Husband Uses Pet Name ‘Horseface’ For Every Woman He Fucks The 6 Stages of Repressing Your Anger Poll Finds U.S. Global Image Down, Especially Among Allies 8 People On Social Media Who Should Be Considered Criminals State Election Commission Chases Wild Animals Out Of Voting Booths In Preparation For Upcoming Midterms Clash of the Corn Cuties | Fantasy High Gift Ideas to Help Republican Grandparents Bribe Their Grandkids into Not Hating Them for Dooming Humanity Paul Allen To Leave $10,000 To Everyone Who Shares This Post ICE Agent Terrified After Becoming Separated From Team During Immigrant Raid Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 16, 2018 Signs Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl May Be Less Of A “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” And More Of A “Depression Meal At Walmart” Mars Rover Finds Newspaper Warning Of Dire Effects Of Climate Change The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 15, 2018 Washington Supreme Court Strikes Down State’s Death Penalty Grandma Amazed By How Fuckable Grandson Has Gotten Since She Saw Him Last Timeline Of Human Activity In Antarctica Meghan Markle Nervously Looking Over Clinic Pamphlets Weighing Her Options

Fake News

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un


Wherein our intrepid talk radio host interviews Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Live from under rock in backyard, it’s Jerry Duncanova Show.

Vladimir Putin carrying Donald Trump, image by DonkeyHotey
Image by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.

JERRY

Give me the microphone, you idiot.

PUTIN

Funny. No?

JERRY

No!  Funny is the orange walrus sitting next to you.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. From the Trump Plaza in New York City, my guests are President Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Supreme Leader from the hermit kingdom of North Korea Kim Jong-un.

KIM

Very nice be here.

JERRY

Why are you in New York? A UN meeting?

KIM

No, no. Me buy Johnny Rockets franchise. Gonna be call Johnny Rocket Man in North Korea.

TRUMP

Hey. I own the trademark to the name Rocket Man. We need to make a deal.

KIM

No deal. You greedy. Bad man, bad man.

TRUMP

What do you think, Vladdy?

PUTIN

16 years Russian president. Never met man like you. Since I let prostitutes pee on bed in your Moscow hotel room, give Kim name.

TRUMP

Okay, Kimster. Deal.

JERRY

So what did you accomplish at the UN this year?

TRUMP

Absolutely nothing. All the nations are stiffing the U.S. We pay billions of dollars to protect dead beats. Russia wouldn’t invade these countries. Would you, Vladdy?

PUTIN

No invade. I cyber attack.

KIM

Me, too. Cyber attack Sony Pictures, 2014. Seth Rogan insult Kim in film. He not funny.

JERRY

I thought the film was a riot, munchkin.

TRUMP

Cyber, shmyber. Let’s not let a little hacking come between friends.

JERRY

Why are you in New York, President Putin?

PUTIN

Have tickets Kinky Boots.

JERRY

It’s about a drag queen. I don’t think that’s your kind of play.

PUTIN

Oh. I thought Stormy Daniels musical. Want money back. Got screwed.

TRUMP

Nothing wrong with getting screwed. I’ve screwed the government, workers on my properties and the American people.

KIM

Trumpster has loose screw in head. Not be trusted.

JERRY

Dictators are not to be trusted, either. Especially you, Vladdy. We have proof that you hacked the 2016 elections in favor of Trump.

PUTIN

Big lie.

JERRY

12 Russian intelligence officers indicted for hacking, Paul Manafort under indictment for colluding with Russians and Michael Cohen approved of meetings with Russians to get dirt on Hillary Clinton.

KIM

You berry smart fella.

JERRY

And you, Kimster have lied about not testing nuclear weapons. We have proof.

KIM

Old Chinese saying. If you stand on a toilet, you high on pot.

TRUMP

(laughs) That’s a good one!

JERRY

Speaking of laughs. World leaders laughed when you said in your speech at the UN General Assembly that your administration has accomplished more than almost any in US history. The truth is you’re the laughing stock of the world.

TRUMP

Fake news. My crotch was tight. That’s what they were laughing at.

PUTIN

You want me to loosen balls? Operating table in back alley.

JERRY

Hey, Vladdy. Wasn’t Russia friends with North Korea during the cold war?

PUTIN

(sinister smile)

Good buds long time. Russian and North Korean laugh about competition, but Russian laugh more.

KIM

Korean proverb say you no strike smiling face.

TRUMP

What’s with the proverb crap? Just smack him.

KIM

I get country blown up. You nuts!

TRUMP

Gotta plane to catch. Need to stir up some trouble in the White House.

JERRY

See you tomorrow everyone.

The following two tabs change content below.

Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis.

Dean Kaner



Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish