Homepage / Fake News / The 8 Types of People You'll See at a Dive Bar
Because of #Metoo, Every Time I Meet Another Woman, We Have To Bond, Swap Harassment Stories, Hug, And Drink Each Other’s Blood More Movie Adaptations Of Our Favorite Board Games NSA Admits: We Intercepted Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s Intimate Phone Sex Conversations NASA Announces Plans To Place Giant Pair Of Shades On Sun Boss Wants To Know If You Can Work Late This Year The Editor Of Snopes Just Listed His Marriage Of 28 Years As A Hoax This Chilling Video Of George W. Bush And John Kerry Singing ‘This Land Is Your Land’ Shows How Easy It Is To Use Digital Facial Mapping To Fake Anyone Doing Anything The Best Feelings of the Week (4/20/18) DNC Files Lawsuit Alleging Nation Should Never, Ever Stop Focusing On 2016 Election Most Shocking Revelations Of The Comey Memos North, South Korea In Talks To Announce End To 68-Year Korean War ‘Politics Was Never This Toxic In The 2010s,’ Says Future American While Watching Candidates Battle In 2048 Debate Pits Long John Silver’s Customer Finds Deep-Fried Poseidon Head In Value Meal Furniture King Supports Your Boycott ‘These Kids Should Be In School Instead Of Protesting,’ Say People So Tantalizingly Close To Getting The Point Breaking Out of Your Winter Depression Air Wick Introduces New Piss-Scented Bathroom Diffuser Sober vs High: Watching a Nature Documentary Child At That Awkward Age Where No One Cares What He Thinks And He’s Constantly In The Way FLOWCHART: Do They Know You're High Right Now? Viacom Celebrates its Annual Global Day of Giving Back – Viacom Corporate Starbucks To Close 8,000 Stores For Racial Bias Training The 7 Types of People You’ll Smoke Weed With The Trolley Problem, Interpreted by Notable Film Directors 200 Million Eggs Recalled In U.S. After Dozens Become Ill Mom Makes Sure Everyone Has Masturbated Before Long Car Ride Those Who Do Not Learn From History Are Doomed To Repeat The Renaissance L.A. Fitness Announces Plan To Close All Locations For 30-Minute, High-Intensity Diversity Training Supreme Court Agrees To Hear New Jack White Album Pope Francis Stayed Up All Night Making A Squarespace Page For Catholicism Report: Puerto Rico Situation Remains Dire Despite Months Of No Help Whatsoever After An Island-Wide Blackout Left Millions Of Puerto Ricans Without Power, This Amazing Charity Air-Dropped Printouts Of The Most Epic Trump Takedowns On Twitter Puerto Rico Hit By Island-Wide Blackout Examining the Kochtopus – Jim Hightower, Humor Times Golden Retriever Mauls 5 In Huge Victory For Pitbull Apologists Storm Warning – Will Durst, Humor Times Mike Pompeo Defects To North Korea After Learning About Kim Jong-Un’s Torture Program Trash Bag Taped Over Broken Southwest Plane Window The Most Intimate Step in a Relationship Dad Ready To Forgive Dixie Chicks 10 Celebrities Then vs Now If Amazon and the Postal Service Were Two Teenage Boys in Forbidden Love Tips For Traveling Solo God Recalls Life-Changing Encounter With 8-Year-Old Boy Who Had Near-Death Experience Nation’s Liberals Not Sure What To Think After Hearing Special Counsel Has Waterboarded Every Suspect In Trump Investigation Even If We Ban Guns, Someone Would Invent a Machine With a Different Name That Does the Same Thing Grandma Defiantly Taking Scone Recipe To Grave Kendrick Lamar Wins Historic Pulitzer Prize For ‘DAMN.’ Spring Appalachian Road Trip Memes – The Sequel! Nintendo Has Released A Chair That Will Launch You Through Your TV If You Crash In ‘Mario Kart’ Humor Creators File Lawsuit Against Hundreds of Millions: You May Be Among Them New Employee Doesn't Understand That's Where Zack Sits The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews the Think Tank Carmelo Anthony Struggles To Get Rhythm Back After Making Shot J.K. Rowling Has Revealed That Dementors Are The Wizarding World’s Version Of Italians Barbara Bush Dies At 92 Barbara Bush Passes Away Surrounded By Loved Ones, Jeb Shy Balloon Spends Entire Party Floating In Back Corner Of Room By Itself Cottonelle Adds Blue Strip To Toilet Paper But Keeps What It Does A Secret 5 Reasons To Watch Reruns of ‘The Office’ Instead of Any New Show Congress Not Sure What It Did To Make Trump Think It Wouldn’t Roll Over For Whatever He Wants In Syria I Cut My Tongue Licking a Chobani Lid Again No Cash Left Behind Impoverished Kenyan Bean Picker Can’t Wait To See What Starbucks Has To Say About Racial Sensitivity TGI Fridays Is A Human Right Top 5 Kinkiest Fashion Trends Of The 18th Century New Law Requires Sex Offenders To Inform Residents Before Moving Into Their Homes New Evidence Suggests First Gallows Created As Early Attempt At Autoerotic Asphyxiation Michael Jordan Attacks Softness, Lack Of Competitiveness In Modern Blackjack Players Biggest Revelations From James Comey’s New Book 5 Questions With John Krasinski Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 17, 2018 Poisoned Water Supply Creates Gray Area in Syria Step Right Up And Feast Your Eyes On The Unfathomable Comey, The Man Who Is Both Good And Bad! The Beautiful Monster Who Makes Resisters’ Minds Spin! Betrayer Of Hillary! Enemy Of Trump! Behold This Freak Of Nature! Controversial Theory Suggests Aliens May Have Built Ancient Egypt’s Intergalactic Spaceport Mueller Combs Through Dozens Of Damning White House Emails He Was Accidentally CC’d On Alex Jones Pleads With Sandy Hook Parents To Imagine Pain An Expensive Lawsuit Would Cause Him Comey Says Trump ‘Morally Unfit’ To Be President As Clash Escalates Kendrick Lamar Becomes First Rapper To Win Pulitzer Prize For Editorial Cartooning The Stages Of Dealing WIth Computer Problems Hannity Claims Relationship With Cohen Never Went Past Payment For Legal Advice, Defense Strategy In Criminal Cases Half-Empty Bottle Of Colt 45 Left On Church Steps Must Be Offering To God The Story Behind Reddit’s Most Specific, Brutally Honest, and Impossible-To-Remember Community I’ll Be Back To Fix Our Marriage After This 72-Hour “Fortnite” Session Man Fears He May Never Trust Again After Treasured Picture Of Duck Turns Out To Be Rabbit  Half-Empty Bottle Of Olde English Left On Church Steps Must Be Offering To God Men Fired In Wake Of #MeToo Come Forward About How It Took Them Several Hours To Find New Jobs Al Gore, World’s Fattest Fool, Pretends UK is Tropical Paradise over Easter Researchers Find New Malware Designed To Make ATMs Spit Out Cash The 5 Worst People in Your D&D Game Reviews of Yellowstone National Park By Bison Gaming History Unearthed: Fans Have Located The Desert Mass Grave Where Atari Buried All Of Its Employees Responsible For The ‘E.T.’ Video Game 6 Reasons Brandon Gave For Why His Dad Isn’t Around That Are Definitely Bullshit New ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Book ‘The Fall Of Gondolin’ To Be Released This Year The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 16, 2018 Cool Glitch Effect On Movie Studio Logo Must Mean Shit About To Go Down Americans File Returns For Tax Day U.S. Won’t Rule Out Escalating Defense-Sector Profits From Syria Conflict Ex-Boyfriend Hopes To Still Be Terrible, Incompatible Friends Comey Suddenly Realizes Entire Book Just A Subconscious Defense Mechanism To Hide His True Feelings

Fake News

The 8 Types of People You’ll See at a Dive Bar

Buy the Wine Cloud T-Shirt at Awkward T-shirts
dab on them haters t-shirt
I Believe in ReinCATnation T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Books Reading T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Breaking News T-Shirt Amazon.com
previous arrow
next arrow
PlayPause
Slider


1. The Social Regulars

undefined
A good dive bar may not be the classiest place in the world, but among its dark interiors and  smudged glasses, it usually manages to find itself a loyal group of regulars. And when I say loyal, I mean LOYAL. They’re so comfortable here that it takes you awhile to realize that they’re not on the job. The bartenders and them are best friends to the point that you can’t tell if they went to the bar to hang out with them or if they just developed a relationship over their shared love of alcohol. In either case, you like these guys. They greet you when you walk in the door, they tell you what’s good to order and…hey, wait a second. Did that guy just serve himself a drink? That can’t be right. 

2. The Silent Regulars

undefined
These guys are also here all the time but you’ve never once heard them talk….like at all. They just sit in their usually spot and have a silent drink or two before bouncing. You find them perplexing. If they’re not coming here for the company then that just leaves the atmosphere, and the atmosphere is not the big draw of this bar. Why didn’t they just stay home and drink alone with the lights off? It would have been the same basic activity for a lot less money.   

3. The Loud Newcomers

undefined
You didn’t realize that this place had a vibe, but that was before these jerks came in and shot the vibe to hell. They play all the wrong music, talk at all the wrong decibels and walk around like they own the place. You have no idea what they’re doing here, but you want them to leave immediately. The only upside to these screeching lunatics is the feeling of hatred you can sense being shared between you and the other patrons. It’s called unity, and it feels nice, even if you have to put up with these assholes to get it.

4. The Ones Who Are Clearly Underaged

undefined
You remember when you were their age, but that doesn’t make them any less annoying. They clearly came to this bar because they couldn’t get into other ones and their very presence makes you uncomfortable. You didn’t think you were that much older than underaged, but if this is what underaged looks like, you were clearly mistaken. You feel weird seeing kids like that with a beer, but you also don’t want to be a narc, so you try to ignore the situation as best you can. It’s the oldest you’ve ever felt. 

5. The Ironic Patrons

undefined
“O-M-G! This place is sooooooo cute!” That’s what it seems like these people are saying with every word they speak. They seem to be operating under the assumption that this is not an actual dive bar, but rather a dive bar themed amusement park ride. You’re glad that they’re having fun but they don’t have to be a dick to do it. This bar is, after all, someone’s livelihood. 

6. The Out of Place Snobs

undefined
They accompanied their friend to this establishment and by the way they’re acting, they were apparently expecting Buckingham Palace. The look in their eye makes it seem like they think that at any moment they might be drenched with a bucket of Nickelodeon slime. They lay down a napkin before they let their ass touch the barstool, and instead of ordering a drink, they take swigs out of the bottle of water they brought with them. You can feel how tense they are from across the room. They look like they could use a drink. It’s just unfortunate that they’re too grossed out by the smudges on the glasses to order one. 

7. The Terrible First Date

undefined
You see them there in the corner and it’s clear that this is not the start of a storybook romance. One is a little overdressed, clearly unaware of what they had gotten themselves into. The other is keeping it casual. It’s clear that this is the closest bar to their apartment and they were just looking for a hook up. It’s a bit of a car crash, but just like a car crash, you can’t look away. The awkward 20 minutes provides a nice little show for you to watch while you sip your drinks. 

8.  The Self Congratulators   

undefined
These people may be used to fancier bars, but they don’t need them. They’re much more salt of the earth people. They’d rather grace us normal people with their presence than pay $18 dollars for a drink. (They totally could, though!) It’s great that they are trying not to be snobs, but….well, they shouldn’t be so proud of themselves for it. The only thing snobbier than paying $18 for a drink is congratulating themselves for not doing so. 

 






Source link