Homepage / Fake News / The 10 Best Dog Breeds Ranked, Objectively
Devil's Triangle [Full Episode] He Finally Gets 48 – A Textoon Brexit Dilemma Journal Entries Show That Henry Ford Invented the Weekend in Part Because He Loved to Get Wrecked in a Major Way Bush, Loafers Thrown At Him Reunite On NBC For 10-Year Anniversary Special Kirstjen Nielsen Urges Migrant Parents Leave The Weak Ones Behind This Is The Year I’m Finally Going To Burn Your House Down Charlottesville Jury Recommends 419 Years Plus Life For Neo-Nazi Who Killed Protester Petco Employee Stocks Gerbils By The Cash Register For Impulse Purchases Greatest Factor In Employee Retention Boss Sending Out End-Of-Year Note Titled ‘Thanks Team’ List: Excerpts from the Support Group for Teachers Who Have Eaten Elmer’s Glue Supreme Court Will Not Hear Case On Defunding Planned Parenthood Indoctrinate-TED Parking a Giant Robot is Hard Department Of Interior To Control Rising Mole Population By Releasing Mallets Into National Parks Red Cross Issues Reminder They Can’t Accept Donations From People With Loose Blood Cupped In Hands Most Notorious Criminals In U.S. History I Am Urging You to Urge Others to Push for Climate Change Action NRA Clarifies Mission, Changes Name To National Russia Association Innocuous Thing You Did In Public Prompts Inside Joke That Bonds Group Of Teens For Life The Origins Of Popular Christmas Songs Long Lost “A Christmas Carol” Remake Starring Worst Actors Ever Discovered in Storage Facility Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues” Theresa May Narrowly Manages To Survive Parliamentary Firing Squad New Smithsonian Exhibit Honors Thousands Of Pets Who Joined Workforce After Owners Left To Fight In World War II CNN Opens Up 24-Hour Anonymous Tip Line For Anyone With Synonyms For ‘Mueller Closing In’ Trump Ex-Lawyer Michael Cohen Given 36 Months In Prison Nation Finally Ready To Look At More Sidewalk Drawings That Look Like Big Holes But Are Actually Just Flat My Boyfriend Wants To Go On a "Gaycation" (Love Advice) Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Rescinds Nomination After Discovering The Cure Was Voted In As Cruel Prank By Popular Kids Warhammer & The Weasleys Donald Trump’s Criterion Top 10 Mortician Always Keeps Hammer At Tableside Just In Case One Comes Back To Life U.S. Military Honors Sacrifices Of NFL Players By Wearing Jerseys Throughout December Theresa May Delays Vote On Brexit Deal System For Telling Clean Clothes From Dirty Falls Apart By Second Day Of Trip Ayatollah Upset Notre Dame Made NCAA Playoff Instead of UCF Jackets to Buy This Winter Instead of Having a Personality “Lawyers, Guns and Money” Playing Repeatedly In West Wing At High Volume U.S. Coal Consumption Drops To Lowest Level In 40 Years ‘Oh, Was I Not Enough For You?’ Amazon Echo Asks Couple Bringing New Baby Home Delta Plane Jettisons Dozens Of Comfort Animals Midflight Following Policy Changes Orrin Hatch Delivers Farewell Address From Coffin Descending Into Plot Dug In Middle Of Senate Floor Pros And Cons Of Seeking Out Uncontacted Peoples Time Awards Person Of The Year To Targeted Journalists Including Jamal Khashoggi Machiavelli’s Job Application Campbell’s Unveils New Tomato Soup Humidifier The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Chuck Grassley Michael Cohen Granted Prison Work Release For New Job With Trump 2020 Campaign Eve of Impeachment: A Song Parody Michael Cohen Completes First Stage Of Intricate Plan To Break Incarcerated Brother Out Of Prison From Inside French President Sarkozy Took Million From Gaddafi, Does a Contribution to Obama Explain Benghazi My Girlfriend Has a Dildo From Her Ex-Boyfriend (Love Advice) New York Family Man Latest Victim Of Nation’s Misguided War On Tax Evasion, Perjury, Campaign Finance Violations Bicoastal Time Zone Lesson‬ The Joy of Painting Advanced Weapons Systems Thousands Of Drunk Revelers Dressed As Jesus Descend On Vatican For Annual ChristCon Pub Crawl Every Person In High-End Singapore Casino Either Carrying Out Or Target Of Assassination Frat Nutritionists Dare Americans To Swallow More Live Goldfish Study Finds Average American Gets Most Physical Exertion Waving Cell Phone Around To Get Signal We Were Young and in Love and it was Nuclear Winter Power Harassment Indifference: Income Inequality for Women Persists 2018 Top 10 Comedic News Stories White House Holiday Decorations Through History Trump Threatens to Hold Breath ‘Until Mueller Goes Away’ Trump Claims Substantial Portions Of The U.S.-Mexico Laser Forcefield Have Already Been Built Jonesing Nation Demands Trump Tell Them Where, Exactly, Drugs Are Pouring Into Country Satanic Statue On Display In Illinois Capitol Building For Holidays Soldier Back Home From Serving At Mexico Border Still Having Nightmares About Being Used As Political Prop How To Spot Red Flags With My Married Dom? (Love Advice) Google Translation for Work-Appropriate Self-Evaluations Local Clan Attempts To Intimidate Rivals With Aggressive Display Of Fertility See Plum Run: Official Music Video Authoritarian Secretary Of Transportation Declares She Has Ultimate Right Of Way In Every Traffic Scenario Bertolli Packaging Promises Empty Ravioli Floating In Filling-Saturated Water In Just 5 Minutes Court Filings Suggest Trump Illegally Directed Hush Money Payments Your Horoscopes — Week Of December 11, 2018 Mosquitos: The Best Support System You Never Knew You Had ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Now Just Hoping George R.R. Martin Dies Soon So Estate Can Release Whatever He’s Already Written Those Sensors That Flush Public Toilets Were Also Cameras This Whole Time John Kelly Resigns In Last-Ditch Effort To Save His And Trump’s Friendship John Kelly Out As Chief Of Staff MLB Hoping To Boost Attendance At League Meetings With ‘Star Wars’ Night 5 Reasons Why the Donner Party was Better Than Your Birthday Party Woman Trying To Wean Self Off Coffee By Switching To Long Island Iced Tea I Tricked My Girlfriend Into Dating Me For a Bet (Love Advice) White House Ficus To Leave For Virginia Arboretum After Declining Trump’s Offer To Be Chief Of Staff A Dirty Cop's Worst Nightmare At Disney, We Live Every Day In Terror That You’ll Turn On Superhero Movies Flakes On A Plain 5G Phones Coming Petting Zoo All Goats 10 Fun Ways to Market a House Without a Garage The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 10, 2018 Nixon’s Waterloo… My American Scandal I Am Not Like All the Rest: Funny Lines from Online Dating Profiles The Trumpanos: A New HBO Series Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger Are Still Fighting About the National Anthem Kneelings and It’s Ruining My Mornings Lame Time Traveler Arrives to Warn Nation Against Electing Trump POTUS Wes Anderson Begins Filming Next Film In France A Funeral Director’s Guide on How Best to Die

Fake News

The 10 Best Dog Breeds Ranked, Objectively


10. Jack Russell Terrier

undefined

If you grew up in the 90’s, the odds are that at some point you asked your mom for a Jack Russell only to be told that they’re too much effort. Smart, energetic, and, above all else, cute, Jack Russells are the definition of a kid’s best bud. What’s more, there’s no better dog to cut to when the protagonist does something stupid.

9. Puli

undefined

I’ve never met a Puli. I don’t even know if I’ve ever seen on in real life. For all I know, they are the meanest creatures on earth, but I don’t care. They could be a breed of homophobe who survives on a strict diet of orphan meat, and they’d still deserve a spot on this list because they look like a sentient mop, and nothing they do is gonna change that. In short, they’re perfect.

8. St. Bernards

undefined

A dog that brings you alcohol? Sign me up immediately. Another staple of the 90s, St. Bernard more than make up for the daily gallon of slobber they produce with their smooshable faces and huggable bellies. If movies are to believed, these behemoths can destroy whole living rooms by simply shaking the mud off their fur. That said, I would consider it an honor to take off my dirty glasses and wipe them clean of sludge if it means I get to be in the presence of on of these goobers.

7.  Bloodhounds

undefined

Look at this chill ass motherfucker. Bloodhounds are the kind of badasses who can solve murders by day then chill out at your feet while rocking a sweet ass Sherlock Holmes costume at night. They may not be the most energetic of pooches, but if you wanna just lay low and pet a pooch, you can’t beat these wrinkly little monsters.

6. Mutts

undefined

It’s at this point that a take a break from ranking dog breeds to point out that, genetically speaking, mutts are the best kind of dog. Dog breeding is an archaic and borderline evil practice that causes all sort of health defects in our furry friends. If given the choice between buying a purebred and adopting a mutt, you should always go with the latter. Okay, killjoy time over. Back to ranking dog breeds.

5. Bulldogs

undefined

Remember when I called dog breeding borderline evil? Well here’s your proof. These genetic deformities are sins against nature, but holy shit, they’re cute as hell. They’re just so wrong that they’re right again. Do I think they should exist? No. Do I want to take all the ones that do exist, dress them up in business suits and let the shower me with slobbery kisses? Of course I do.

4. Labrador Retrievers

undefined

Labs are cool ass dogs. They don’t need your fucking approval, and that makes it so cool that they’re such loyal little guys. Walking around with a lab is like being friends with a celebrity. People will stop. Eyes will turn. You’ll seem that much more interesting by the mere fact that you’re happen to be in their orbit. It’s great. Also, they happen to make the undisputed cutest puppies, so bonus points on that front.

3. Tie: French Bulldog/Boston Terriers

undefined

Both these breeds are incredibly silly and that is exactly their charm. Their smushed faces and pointy ears make them impossible to resist. Do both of them fart a lot and snore like little sailors? Yes they do. That said, aren’t  unpleasant smells and a lack of sleep worth it if it means you get to stare at one of these silly faces everyday? The answer is yes.

2. Golden Retrievers

undefined

If you looked up dog in the dictionary, you see a Golden. Then odds are that Golden would wag its tail and try to kiss you because that’s the kind of dogs they are. As their name suggests, these little fuffsters are golden drops of sunlight that make everything around them happier. I’ve never met one that didn’t instantly put a smile on my face, and I’m a very sad person, so that says a lot.

1.Pekingese

undefined

Pekingese aren’t much to look at, they don’t have much personality, and they shed like a bitch. That said, my dog is a Pekingese and that means that they are unquestionably the best breed of dog….objectively.

 






Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish