Homepage / Fake News / Shakespeare Final Exam Written by an English Professor in The Middle of a Raging Divorce
Mike Pompeo Impressed By Realism Of Saudis’ Halloween Decorations The Jerry Duncan Show interviews Justice Brett Kavanaugh and Senator Diane Feinstein Melania’s Heart Sinks After Realizing Husband Uses Pet Name ‘Horseface’ For Every Woman He Fucks The 6 Stages of Repressing Your Anger Poll Finds U.S. Global Image Down, Especially Among Allies 8 People On Social Media Who Should Be Considered Criminals State Election Commission Chases Wild Animals Out Of Voting Booths In Preparation For Upcoming Midterms Clash of the Corn Cuties | Fantasy High Gift Ideas to Help Republican Grandparents Bribe Their Grandkids into Not Hating Them for Dooming Humanity Paul Allen To Leave $10,000 To Everyone Who Shares This Post ICE Agent Terrified After Becoming Separated From Team During Immigrant Raid Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 16, 2018 Signs Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl May Be Less Of A “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” And More Of A “Depression Meal At Walmart” Mars Rover Finds Newspaper Warning Of Dire Effects Of Climate Change The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 15, 2018 Washington Supreme Court Strikes Down State’s Death Penalty Grandma Amazed By How Fuckable Grandson Has Gotten Since She Saw Him Last Timeline Of Human Activity In Antarctica Meghan Markle Nervously Looking Over Clinic Pamphlets Weighing Her Options What Elementary School Was Like in Each Decade Elizabeth Warren Disappointed After DNA Test Shows Zero Trace Of Presidential Material Jared Kushner Likely Avoided Income Tax For Years Saudi Arabia Sends Assassins To Dismember Entire International Community In Effort To Stifle Dissent Me, Frankenstein Monster, Am Victim of Angry Mob and Me Blame George Soros Loser Woman Hasn’t Even Inspired One Bar Fight Every Negotiation Scene Ever Cows Trample Dozens Of Lobsters To Death In Escalating Surf ’N’ Turf War Horrified Nurses Discover 40-Pound Baby After Accidentally Leaving It In Incubator Over Weekend Rosie O’Donnell Admits What She Did With Her Tuba “This One Time at Band Camp” All Hallow's Grieve Donner Party Archaeological Study Finds Survivors Preferred White Meat Drawfee Presents CARTOON HELL [First Full Episode] Jack-o’-lantern Designs that Say “We’re Filing for Divorce” Humiliating: When Asked What I Wanted for My Last Meal, I Panicked and Said “Yo-Yo’s” A Sexy Fire Drill | See Plum Run Is There a Subtle Way to Ask if My Book-Club Book Has Cunnilingus in It? Stephen Hawking’s Final Paper Revealed H.P. Lovecraft Reviews His Recent Amazon Purchases by Pat Landers Woman Always Gets Best Ideas While Taking Shower With Two Jacked Dudes Should LeBron James Leave ‘Space Jam 2’ For A Movie With A Better Chance Of Winning An Oscar? Frightened Don Jr. Asks If He Can Sleep In Dad’s Bed After Bad Dream About Being Indicted Panicked Falcons Discover Scratch In Mercedes Benz Stadium This Bitter Couple Tells Us The Secret To A 3-Year, 5-Month, And 2-Week Marriage Sully Sullenberger Realizes It Too Late Now To Let Everyone Know Plane Did All That Stuff On Autopilot Bill And Hillary Clinton Announce Joint Tour Mom Hates Bad Guy In Movie This Bitter Couple Tells Us The Secret To A 3-Year, 5-Month, And 2-Week Marriage Kanye West Jumps On Massage Table To Deliver Speech About Relaxation Stop Hating My Favorite Things How to Get Past Your Baseball Team Losing in the Playoffs…Again Trump Administration Urges Saudis To Stick To Killing Random Yemeni Civilians Many States Still Relying On Outdated Methods To Disenfranchise Voters Woman Reveals She Was With Kavanaugh the Night Christine Blasey Ford Testified About Classic Chuck Norris Film “Good Guys Wear Black” to have Politically Correct Remake Movies Reviewed by Me, a Teen in the Early 2000s, Based on What I Saw Before I Started Making Out Trump Touts Ivanka's World Capitals IQ in Consideration of Her as UN Ambassador ‘Try It Now,’ Shouts Gogo Internet Technician Standing On Plane Wing While Fixing In-Flight Wireless Connection Students Who Take Latin Have Better Chance Of Summoning Demon Later In Life Mom Still Raving About Butternut Squash Ravioli She Tried 13 Years Ago Hurricane Michael Makes Landfall In Most Dangerous Storm In Florida Panhandle History ‘The Convergence Is At Hand,’ Announces Sears CEO As Employees Report To Company Headquarters In White Gowns Panicked Meteorologists Advise Entire Nation To Take Cover After Losing Track Of Hurricane Michael Leaving Neil Armstrong’s Homemade Banner Out of “First Man” Ignores that the Moon Landing was a Completely Individual Achievement Tips For Relieving Back Pain Rick Scott Orders Hurricane Michael To Evacuate From Florida 10 Ways To Come Out of The Closet The CORRECT Way An Inside Look At The Crack Marketing Team At Pornhub Salamanders Bravely Offer To Go Extinct In Place Of Better Animal What If We Made Voting Fun? Sexual Allegations Against “Slick Willie” Different Than Those Against Trump and Kavanaugh Is This Year's Giants Team An Al-Qaeda Plot Designed To Hurt New Yorkers Again? No, You Don’t Need To Worry About Trick-or-Treaters Being Given Edibles Calm, Measured Trump Hard At Work After Freak Accident Leaves Him With Railroad Spike Lodged In Skull Kim Jong-Un Wants Pope To Visit North Korea Cyborg Cops & Sci-Fi Substance Abuse | Um, Actually Obese Man Has Amazing Calves Democrats Issue Ultimatum To Donald Trump: Do Not Juggle Chainsaws ‘Can Anyone Hear Me?’ Shout Terrified Climate Scientists Frantically Waving Arms As Passersby Walk Straight Through Them ExxonMobil CEO Depressed After Realizing Earth Could End Before They Finish Extracting All The Oil Tips For Dealing With A Difficult Landlord Excerpts from the Harry Potter Series, Reprinted In The Trumpian Translation 5 Things To Know About Rachel Maddow Nikki Haley Resigns As Trump’s U.N. Ambassador Kowtow: Chinese Habit We Are Learning U.S. Public Health Service Estimates They’ll Have Tuskegee Experiment Wrapped Up By 2020 Kavanaugh Huffs and Puffs His Way to the Supreme Court [Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon] ‘We Love When Thing Taste Like Other Thing’ NFL Urges Pass Rushers To Try Reaching Peaceful Resolution With Quarterbacks Before Resorting To Tackling What's Your Worst Roommate Story? Febreze Releases New Air Horn For Covering Up Unpleasant Bathroom Sounds Taylor Swift Breaks Silence On Politics To Support Democrats There Never Been A Better Time To Buy Than Right Now Strange, Nightmarish Incident Results In Man Waking Up As Giant Kafka Taylor Swift Inspires 200 Million Fans To Register To Vote In Tennessee New Polls Increase Fears That Midterm Elections Will Be Won By Wave Of Politicians Banksy Hospitalized With Third Degree Burns After Attempting To Cash Self-Destructing Check U.N. Reports Says Humanity Has 12 Years To Avert Climate-Related Catastrophe Nikki Haley Resigns To Accept Consulting Role With Afghan Warlord Most Americans’ Retirement Plans Consist Of Hoping Their Random Junk Turns Out To Be Collector’s Item Worth Millions

Fake News

Shakespeare Final Exam Written by an English Professor in The Middle of a Raging Divorce

Part 1: Multiple Choice:

1. Who teaches wives to cheat, according to Emilia? (from Act 4, Scene 3)

a. The mistresses
b. The husbands
c. The world
d. Donna’s crazy mother!

2. How does Iago describe jealousy?

a. “The green-eyed monster”
b. “Downfall of many men”
c. “The scourge of the weak-minded”
d. “Our neighbor Brad’s stupid, big muscles”

3. How is the Turkish fleet thwarted?

a. In battle with Othello’s fleet
b. By a storm
c. Mutiny
d. When all their girlfriends and wives shatter their pathetic hearts and souls into tiny little pieces, leaving them hopelessly despairing, so they all die at sea because what’s the point of it all

4. What does Othello Prof. Jefferies ask his wife Desdemona Donna when she awakens to him standing beside their bed, which they bought together the day after their wedding because they both like medium-firm mattresses? (from Act 5, Scene 2)

a. If she has any sins to confess
b. If she still loves him.
c. If she has been unfaithful to him with their neighbor B-R-A-D!
d. If she is feeling alright AFTER DESTROYING THEIR MARRIAGE!

5. Desdemona’s Donna’s Father is:

a. Lodovico
b. Brabantio
c. Gratiano
d. A possessive, overbearing, emotionally repressed meat head who’s tainted her ability to ever have a healthy relationship with men

6. What is “the beast with two backs”?

a. The devil
b. Othello
c. Two people having sex, like Donna and our cheating asshole neighbor BRAD! FUCK YOU BRAD!
d. Donna’s obviously undiagnosed bipolar disorder
e. Both c and d

Part 2: Short Answer:

Please answer in full sentences.

1. Why didn’t Iago Prof. Jefferies’s best friend tell Othello him right away that Desdemona Donna and Cassio Brad were having an affair?

2. Othello Prof. Jefferies is often called a tragic hero by his friends, family, therapist, and most people who know him. Discuss his heroic qualities as well as his flaws which lead to the demise of his marriage and this lonely misery that he lives with every day.

3. Discuss Othello’s Prof. Jefferies’s relationship with Desdemona his ex-wife. Does he still truly love her?

Part 3: Essay Questions:

Please choose ONLY ONE of the following essay topics:

1. Write a comparative essay examining the differences between Brad and Prof. Jefferies, making sure to expand on what reasons Donna has in choosing Brad over Prof. Jefferies, what Brad’s character possesses that is so great, and how this highlights some of the symbols of racism present in Othello.

2. Write an argumentative essay to Donna explaining how sorry Prof. Jefferies is for not being more supportive as a husband, never listening when she needed him, and neglecting her emotionally. Present a clear, persuasive argument in favor of getting back together and working things out, using relevant themes, symbols, and motifs in Othello to support your argument.

3. In Othello, Shakespeare examines the relationship between language and occurrence. In the play, words have the power to create action; to merely speak of something can turn it into reality. With this idea in mind, analyze the language used in the play and present suggestions of what kinds of words Prof. Jefferies can use to make getting Donna back a reality.

Note: Bonus marks will be awarded for egging Brad’s house and his dumb Maserati, then clearly explaining how these actions relate to Othello, Act 1 Scene 1.

Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.