Homepage / Fake News / Semi-Humorous Meetings with Strange Creatures in the Night
List: What I Imagine Being an English Butler is Like Karen Pence Returns To Work As Part-Time Nude Art Model How To Sound Smart Presumptuous Congressional Freshman Thinks She Can Just Come In And Represent Constituents Zamboni Jams Up After Running Over Large Patch Of Loose Teeth Netflix Raising Prices The Universe Tells Me | Points in Case List: The 5 Best Garnishes for an Egg Salad Sandwich on the Subway Fox News Debuts Premium Channel For 24-Hour Coverage Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez There No Way Of Knowing Whether The Vague Award Mom Won At Work A Big Deal Or What U.K. Parliament Rejects Theresa May’s Brexit Deal The Survival Guide for Open Mics Woman Rushes To Hide Fragile Objects, Cover Up Sharp Corners On Tables Before Boyfriend Comes Over Artists Draw Ugly Babies Lincoln Memorial Empty After Former President’s Statue Furloughed New Hampshire Legislature Passes Bill Naming Fentanyl State Opiate Furloughed Government Employee Using Time Off To Visit Local Food Pantry She Been Hearing About Photo Of Egg Breaks World Record For Most-Liked Instagram Post Cute Winter Date Activities To Do Right Before You Break Up Pros And Cons Of Pet Insurance This Dog Is Way Too Happy About Smelling Cancer List: You Won’t Believe the Names of Charles Dickens’ Top Five Male Porn Stars Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 15, 2019 Universe Admits We’re Here to Keep up with the Kardashians Man Crouched Inside Of Robotic Welding Arm Terrified Robot Will Eventually Take His Job Fed-Up EU Rejects United Kingdom, Gives British 30 Days To Vacate Europe Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet with R Kelly. Chuck Schumer Honestly Pretty Amazed He Hasn’t Caved Yet Progressive Populism: A Different Kind of Political Beauty GOP Leaders Condemn Steve King For White Supremacy Comment NBA Ref Petrified After Seeing Depiction Of Own Death While Looking Under Replay Hood Viagra Announces Real Medicine That Gave Customers Erections Was Confidence All Along Poll Shows Increasing Number Of Voters Blame Founding Fathers For Starting America The Gruesome Truth About Parasites [Full Episode] Victorian Courtship Etiquette That I, A Millennial Male, Am In Favor of Rekindling William Barr Assures Senate He Will Let Donald Trump Finish His Job Without Any Interference Government Shutdowns By The Numbers FBI Opened Inquiry Into Whether Trump Working For Russians I Just Found Out My Hot Gay Boyfriend Is Also My Twin Brother Tinder Announces App Will No Longer Match Users Solely With Distant Relatives Advisors Instruct William Barr To Avoid Referring To Trump As ‘My Liege’ During Confirmation Hearing Most Americans Blame Trump For Shutdown Furloughed Federal Employee Starts Online Search For New Government GOP Strips Steve King Of Post On Powerful House Segregation Committee 2005 Minnesota Vikings (with Rob O'Connor) ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Excited To Hear Series Will Finally Be Over A Computer Co-Wrote this Sketch Christmas Really Over, Man Realizes As iPhone Game Switches Out Holiday Icon R&B Singer Guesses She’ll Just Keep Moaning Into Mic Until Song Is Over List: Chuck Norris Would Like to Revisit His Facts Nation’s Idiots Announce Plans To Jump Off Their Roofs Into A Pile Of Snow And Break Their Fucking Legs Tips To Become a Better Job Hunter & Gatherer I’m Orville Redenbacher’s Dad and I Think His Popcorn Sucks Ass White Nationalists Accuse Google of Anti-Nazi Bias When He Doesn't Get the Hint [Full Episode] The Lemon Water You Drank in an Attempt to Detox Needs Back-Up Let Me and the 10 Demons That Possess Me Host the Oscars Locker Rooms Bilbo Gets Trolled The Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ‘I’ve Never Had Sex’ Interview Pt 2 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Instant Pot Recipes for Angering Everyone The Humor Times Needs Your Help! The Trump Family Intervention – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Chuck Grassley and Former Senator Orrin Hatch A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist Oh No, Did We Hurt Brennan's Feelings? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits: ‘I’ve Never Had Real Sex!’ | You make the news…We report it! List: Official Ranking of Every Hollywood “Chris” Ethan Hawke’s Body Found Dumped In Laurel Canyon As 2019 Oscar Race Heats Up I Will Continue to Block the Slide Until We Build a Wall Separating Our Recess from Mrs. Montgomery’s Class This Amazing New Anti-Bullying Campaign Reminds Kids That Even Though Bullying Might Be Fun, Rewarding, And Cool, It Can Sometimes Make You Tired List: What to Expect With Your First 18-Year-Old War I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason Fantasy High Binge Compilation (Episodes 1 – 8) I Have a Passion for Ecologically Restoring the Habitat of the Beast TSA Guy Circling Stuff On Boarding Pass With Reckless Abandon Advisory Group : “Being Speaker of the House Doesn’t Mean You Always Have to Have Your Mouth Open” Feeling Smart is the New Smart I’m Concerned My Cult Isn’t Sacrificing Enough Virgins Creating Rounded Characters (with Lou Wilson) You've NEVER Seen Star Wars?! Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Enemy Rita Repulsa Is Her Mother CIA Issues Posthumous Apology After New Evidence Clears Osama Bin Laden Of Involvement In 9/11 Attacks The Monster Under My Bed Is Addicted to His iPhone Study: Most Teens Who Respond to Acne Treatment Still Ugly After Xmas Gift Wish List Where Is AI Driving Us? The Family Dog Would Like Some Firm Rules on What Can & Cannot Be Humped Science and History Get Weird in WHAT THE F 101 [Official Trailer] Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 8, 2019 Tumbleweed Of Pubes Rolls Through Desolate Dorm Bathroom President Ends Shutdown After Disruption To Nation's Cheeseburger Supply Line Elon Musk, I Can Do Your Job! This Turkey is a Total TILF The State Nicknames Convention | Points in Case You Don't Actually Need a Menu It’s Not An Easy Thing To Admit When You’re Wrong, And That’s Why I Won’t Do It How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem An Amazon Warehouse Worker’s Year-In-Review Analytics

Fake News

Semi-Humorous Meetings with Strange Creatures in the Night

Real life experiences with strange creatures in the night.

The following are real life experiences with strange creatures in the night:

Strange Creatures animal raccoonIt was my first time to Steamboat Springs in Colorado. As was my usual way of traveling in my younger days, I planned on camping out in the rough, i.e., no tent; only a tarp for rain cover. I climbed up a mountain side on the outside of town and found myself on the top of a cliff over looking a deep ravine containing a tumbling river. The cliff I stood on was scary high, but had a barren, partially flat top just right for sleeping. The cliff to the river was frightening, but there was a very short fence that would awaken me if I happened to roll that way although I was sleeping perpendicular to the the edge of it. I tucked in for the night.

I was a few winks into sleep when something ran across me. Something very small. And fast. I woke up with a start. What was that? Was it my imagination? I could detect nothing of the space invader. Eventually I faded back into sleep.

Then something ran across me again. And again. And again. I could not make out what the thing, or things were, but they were making me paranoid. Some THINGS seemed to be having a game of running over me in the dark. My paranoia had me fully awake, but fatigue soon returned and overcame whatever fear I had.

In the middle of the night something subtle nudged me awake. I was sleeping on my back and SOMETHING was standing on my chest. By the light of the full moon behind it I could make out the definite form of the silhouette of … a chipmunk.

I had parked my tired carcass directly in the path of the nocturnal highway for these rodents. I sat up yelling and the thing took off. But for the rest of the night I remained their speed bump. Somehow, despite this, I did manage to get some sleep. I guess you can get used to anything.


I was camping out on Orcas Island; a part of the San Juan chain of islands out in the Puget Bay of Washington State. I was roaming the island and testing out my newly bought military style hammock tent. It was a hammock in that you suspended it from trees just like any hammock, but it had mosquito netting sides and a house-like sloping roof for repelling rain. Just before dusk I set it up on a slope headed downwards to a small lake at the bottom. It seemed a wonderful spot for a night’s sleep.

What I hadn’t anticipated was that the nights here would be inky black with no visibility at all. I was dead asleep when SOMETHING ran into me in the hammock and sent me swinging. I sat up yelling like hell from fright and shock. Whatever hit me was at least three or four feet high and kept on going underneath after impact.

I never saw what it was, but it left me rocking like a baby in its carriage. To this day I do not know for sure what it was, but I surmise that it was a small deer as is common to the Pacific north-west or, less likely, a wild pig. Whatever it was, it made for an uneasy night’s sleep as I kept one eye open the rest of the night for IT’S brother to come along.


I was camping out again in the Rockies, this time near a seasonal brook. Coming-home at night was never easy, but this night as an experiment I attempted the quarter mile jaunt with out a headlamp. It was going quite well until I was within spitting distance of my tent. Suddenly I heard a rustling from my tent that could only indicate that something was in it. Every hair on my body stiffened and I had an out of the body experience from the fright. ‘BEAR’ was my first thought. But something was amiss. A bear could not possible fit in that small tent of mine, but there was a budge under under the rain fly that was definitely moving. I gathered my courage and my flashlight and cautiously stalked up quietly to investigate. I carefully picked up the corner of the rain fly and looked in. A masked face gazed back cheekily at me. A raccoon! And he had a buddy down in the tent. One of them had boldly ripped out the small screen mesh at the apex of the tent and gone inside to rummage around. And rummage they did! I pulled back in fright as raccoons, as cute and cuddly as they might seem, were vicious and smart fighters. But they also knew when they were in trouble. The one under the rain fly took off. I went around and opened the zipper on the front and started hitting the back of the tent to scare his buddy off.

The two over-grown rodents had successfully tore up my whole tent. Anything that had a smell had been chewed up and everything, repeat EVERYTHING, had been tore through. The next morning I found almost a perfect semi-circle of my stuff around the tent. It was as though the bandit inside the tent had passed everything of interest to the one on the top saying “Hey Bennie! Check this thing out!” and then Bennie finding everything to be of not as much as Reggie had found it tossed it out. Included in this was my little statuette of Yoda which just goes to show that raccoon’s are really more in tune with the Dark Side of the Force.

The two mafioso returned twice again later to savage my tent. The second time I wasn’t as afraid as the first and when I found they had made a rip along the entire side of the tent I was livid. When they hit me the third time I had had enough. I reached inside the tent and grabbed my large umbrella with the hard plastic handle and, despite their trying to intimidate me with their threatening hissing, I started beating them hard with the umbrella handle. I wasn’t hitting them hard enough to break bones, but definitely hard enough to leave bruises and bad memories. They suddenly were not so aggressive and were fervently looking for alternative escape routes out. Moving to the back of the tent I took good aim at the bulge of one of them and sent him scurrying for home. The second had to endure another assault from the front before he got smart and exited hurriedly when his barrage from the back came.

After that they never returned.

The following two tabs change content below.

Roger Freed
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor.
Roger Freed

Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.