Homepage / Fake News / Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While
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Fake News

Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While


Okay readers, so much to cover, so little time! Husband just stormed out to watch playoffs at Buffalo Wild Wings, because Ray Donovan’s on the flatscreen, Dr. Who streaming on the iPad and I’m writing this on my laptop. (Plus, my editor needs me to preview the Game of Thrones prequel: A Song of Blood and Castration.)

— Check the psychosocial warfare in the show! Sarah must’ve known Tom cheated on Tracy because Tina had seen Becky with Tom and told Charlene at the Steigerwalt’s Feast of Forgiveness. And Charlene is protective of Tom’s stepson Darius. We really don’t know who to trust. I’m not even sure I trust myself (especially when I promise myself I won’t watch 2 shows at once)!

— Were my readers surprised that Mandeep killed Gondrashov? Yes, Mandeep witnessed his wife being dismembered by Gondrashov’s thugs. And Gondrashov pulled out Mandeep’s teeth with needlenose pliers. We already know Mandeep is capable of murder since he mowed down pedestrians in Berlin after betraying the Center’s Krakow Agreement. But I was expecting Mandeep and Rem to strike an alliance with Gondrashov and Cormorant so that they could all go after the Teal Blue Alliance for hacking into the server farm of The Bumbalini Corporation. I went back to episode 8 in season 32: Watch Cormorant’s face when Mandeep finds Bumbalini’s pre-IPO filing. Really watch it. Not once. I watched it 18 times. Something is happening… not sure what.

— Rem following Stavania into the ladies room in drag and fixing his makeup while Stavania’s in the stall snorting angel dust, texting the CIA—how did he not get caught and sneak on Stavania’s flight to Breckenridge? You know we’ll be seeing more of that relationship in Season 88… if they have a Season 88. More on that later.

— Wow… Kevin Nealon in Episode 5 as The Teething Tree Man! A performance that might redeem him after sinking so low in those Xarelto commercials. The Teething Tree Man myth, based on H.P. Lovecraft’s unfinished fantasy novel itself loosely based on Honore De Balzac’s life, had a plot line that meandered into the woods since we’d learned in Season 29 episode 3 (or ep 4? 8?) that The Teething Tree Man is only visible to Dog Soldiers inducted into the Birds Eye Maple Consortium. (Note: Sorry, I can’t confirm those episodes since Ryan Murphy originally produced the series and went to Netflix. Seasons 21-29 are only available to buy on Amazon Prime Ne Plus Ultra and my editor is restricting my budget. Any readers want to write my editor to increase my budget?)

— We finally see the Shutov Assembly and have answers to the time travel questions from Seasons 47 and 48. Look at that surreal scene from Season 47, episode 1: those 2 characters in the parking lot with the sports car? Don’t they look a lot like Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd! My theory: the barn houses an interstellar radio transmitter with the power of 10 suns capable of turning back time and reconnecting Tom with Darius. Read my comments on an endless Subreddit about Shutov. Some say it was just made to look like an interstellar radio transmitter but is a garden-variety, large array radio telescope with aperture synthesis interferometry. Thoughts, radio astronomy readers?

Casting About

— Love, love, love Dave the dragon! A dragon that talks while breathing fire was odd but humanized him. If you can’t feel sympathy when Dave apologizes after accidentally burning the village then you have no heart. Uncredited voice of the Dragon? Not Ryan Reynolds! Guesses, readers?

— John Turturro… totally miscast in the role of Bumbalini Corporation CEO. Such great talent in and they say three words, “Erase the whiteboard!”—what a waste!

— The internet went crazy when Cait Blanchett took the role of bar floozy Estelle, a role originally meant for Amy Schumer who backed out after she was cast in Al Pacino’s direction of Macbeth on Broadway. Sometimes… I think the Internet is crazy.

Lastly… Shards of Grass

— That sex scene in episode 1 shot from a drone in Super 8 film? WTF?!? Drone pilots and film geeks loved it. Everybody else, not so much. What’s next? Super 16 shot from a wakeboard??

— Still no clue about a season 38. Hulu and Crackle—non-committal; Lifetime and Showtime—mum.

— Rumors that Kanye West will play “The Farmer In The Dell?” Supposedly unfounded.

— The showrunner for next season… may literally be a runner! Usain Bolt’s agent confided in me he’s a huge fan of the show and interested in writing for TV.

Final Note To My Dear Readers/Fans

— This may be my last recap for a while. My husband is concerned about my general cognitive dissonance and sleepwalking. Write my editor to keep me on the prestige TV beat.

Don’t write my husband. I’m in trouble.

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