Homepage / Fake News / Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While
Experts Caution New Car Loses 90% Of Value As Soon As You Drive It Off Cliff Coachella Unveils Premium VIP Areas Where Fans Will Be Able To See, Hear Bands Sleep with a Snake for $2500 Tips For Quitting Juul Arctic Locked In To Warm 9 Degrees By End Of Century None Of Mom’s Clothes Can Be Cleaned Using Washing Machine Directors’ Notes on Restagings of Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” How Much Does Donald Trump Love Farmers? David Nunes Sues Twitter & Marilyn Sands for Big ‘Moo-la’ President Bans Use of Prepositions On Twitter Biggest Drug Busts In U.S. History One Million Pounds Of Pork Seized At New Jersey Port Literary Historians Uncover Collection Of Breezy, Upbeat Edgar Allan Poe Writings Penned After Author Took Up Jogging Beto O’Rourke Smashes Records With $6.1 Million In Fundraising Devin Nunes Threatens Defamation Lawsuit After Reputation Ruined By His Official Twitter Account Biden Pulls Off Dusty Tarp Covering Old Campaign Motorcycle Where's the Remote? Pros And Cons Of Canceling Student Loan Debt Finishing a Campaign (with Molly Ostertag) Other Secret & Torrid Fictional Relationships You Might Have Forgotten Son Needs Costume, 30 Individually Wrapped Treats Tomorrow Morning For Some School Celebration Dog Blocks Off Afternoon To Lick Spot On Floor Where Owner Once Dropped Pepperoni What Your NCAA Bracket Champion Says About You ‘Identifying Hate Speech Is Difficult Because Some Posts Actually Make Pretty Interesting Points’ Yelp-Like App Helps Trump Supporters Find MAGA-Friendly Restaurants Facebook Removes 1.5 Million Videos Of New Zealand Mass Shooting Historians Uncover Lost Socrates Dialogues Where He Just Gave Up And Started Screaming That Opponent A Fucking Brainwashed Shill Scotland Yard Frees 163-Year-Old British Man After DNA Evidence Clears Him Of Being Jack The Ripper Disney Rehires Director James Gunn As Part Of Company-Wide Push Towards Embracing Pedophilia A Relationship Advice Column for Anthropomorphic Trains 5 Things To Know About Pete Buttigieg The Trial of a Dead Guy Grossed-Out Anti-Abortion Activist Has Change Of Heart After Seeing Picture Of Fetus For First Time Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 19, 2019 The Green New Meal The Top 5 Online Masters Programs for When You’ve Given Up on Your Dreams Operation Varsity Blues: Rich Is as Rich Does The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Melania Trump and Michelle Obama ‘Marijuana Has No Lasting After Effects’ – HORSE MANURE!!! The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 18, 2019 Thousands Of Students Forced To Attend Iowa State After University Sets Acceptance Rate To 140% President’s Cathartic Words Help Nation Begin To Heal Following Yet Another Senseless ‘Saturday Night Live’ God Really Dreading Visit From Older Brother Who Made Much More Successful Cosmos Trump: ‘Any Shooting Actually Inspired By Me Would Have Left Thousands Dead’ Man Wasting His Life Playing Video Games When There Whole World Of Other Screens Out There Clear Similarities Between Boeing 737 Max 8 Crashes Which of You Soulless Coworkers Ate My Slice of Cake From the Work Fridge? NCAA Launches Investigation Into Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off Recent College Admissions Scandal Apple Announces Tim Cook Mini Trump Vows To Bring Back Ohio Town’s White Castle This Smart Watch Tells You When You're Going to Die KC Masterpiece CEO Warns Against Society’s Increasing Reliance On A1 Area Man Much Happier, More Relaxed Since Joining Cult Colonel Sanders Was a Union Officer and Will Therefore Not be Cancelled Wireless Headphones May Pose Cancer Risk, Experts Say Lori Loughlin’s Mother Arrested in Prison Admissions Plot Honest Trip to the Doctor 4 Times I Failed My Driving Test Because I Tried to Bring My Examiner to Busch Gardens How to Survive St. Patrick’s Day Without Revealing You’ve Been Cursed to Take the Form of a Leprechaun Chicago St. Patrick’s Day Parade Finally Lifts Ban On Snakes The New Adopt A Writer Program Blade Runner Is Nerd Homework The Necromancer Could Bryce Harper Convince Mike Trout To Follow Him To A Giant Pile Of Money? So, You Thought You Could Just Buy That Thrift Store Jacket Without Consequences? You Fool! Should The NFL Combine Get Rid Of The 40-Mile Dash? Youth Climate Strike Takes Place In Hundreds Of Countries 5 Things To Know About Beto O'Rourke How FEMA Responds To Disasters Yes, James Bond Did Disarm You With Considerable Ease, But You’re Still a Valued Member of This Organization! The Trump Players and the Roller Coaster of Spin Jazz Reminds Fans Racist, Homophobic Language Has No Place In Good Seats More Women Forgoing Taking Their Husbands’ Names In Favor Of Something Badass Like Diesel Sleeping Over for the First Time Woman’s Solo Hiking Trip Shockingly Doesn’t Have To Do With Inner Journey Or Anything Dad Wearing Some New Kind Of Headphones That Wrap Over, Under, Around Ears What Is the Best Invention That Has Yet to Be Invented? Overwhelmed New Grandparents Finally Feeling What It Like To Love A Child Japan To Put Toyota On Moon By 2029 YouTube Presents: Comment Section Classics — A New Way to Experience Music Piece Of Shit Whom Everybody Hates Assures Himself It All In His Head Le’Veon Bell Stipulates Jets Contract Must Contain Immediate-Trade Clause Sceintists Eradicate Rubella, Bring Back Spanish Flu World Wide Web 30 Years Old Dog Feels Like He Always Has To Be ‘On’ Around Family Beto O’Rourke Announces He Starting Obama Cover Campaign Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life Antonio Brown Buys Pittsburgh Billboard To Thank Antonio Brown For Putting Up With City Open Carry: Canada vs U.S. California Halts Death Penalty Trump 2020 Budget Includes Plan to Cut Entitlements by Shooting Elderly and Infirm 2020 Presidential Candidate Pete Buttigieg Announces Bold Plan For 2,500-Mile Intercontinental Riverwalk Rahm Emanuel Breaks Ground On New Jason Van Dyke Police Academy ‘C’mon, C’mon,’ Says Matt Damon Desperately Searching For Own Name On List Of IMDB User Dolphinsoul60’s Top 100 Actors Butcher the National Anthem for $2,000 Welcome to Nextdoor Fight Club, Where You Must Turn Every Topic into a Fight Responsible Gym Member Makes Sure To Wipe Down Personal Trainer After Workout Anti-Vaxxer Movement By The Numbers Tennis Instructor Mentoring Young Player Sees Potential In Parents’ Income

Fake News

Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While

Okay readers, so much to cover, so little time! Husband just stormed out to watch playoffs at Buffalo Wild Wings, because Ray Donovan’s on the flatscreen, Dr. Who streaming on the iPad and I’m writing this on my laptop. (Plus, my editor needs me to preview the Game of Thrones prequel: A Song of Blood and Castration.)

— Check the psychosocial warfare in the show! Sarah must’ve known Tom cheated on Tracy because Tina had seen Becky with Tom and told Charlene at the Steigerwalt’s Feast of Forgiveness. And Charlene is protective of Tom’s stepson Darius. We really don’t know who to trust. I’m not even sure I trust myself (especially when I promise myself I won’t watch 2 shows at once)!

— Were my readers surprised that Mandeep killed Gondrashov? Yes, Mandeep witnessed his wife being dismembered by Gondrashov’s thugs. And Gondrashov pulled out Mandeep’s teeth with needlenose pliers. We already know Mandeep is capable of murder since he mowed down pedestrians in Berlin after betraying the Center’s Krakow Agreement. But I was expecting Mandeep and Rem to strike an alliance with Gondrashov and Cormorant so that they could all go after the Teal Blue Alliance for hacking into the server farm of The Bumbalini Corporation. I went back to episode 8 in season 32: Watch Cormorant’s face when Mandeep finds Bumbalini’s pre-IPO filing. Really watch it. Not once. I watched it 18 times. Something is happening… not sure what.

— Rem following Stavania into the ladies room in drag and fixing his makeup while Stavania’s in the stall snorting angel dust, texting the CIA—how did he not get caught and sneak on Stavania’s flight to Breckenridge? You know we’ll be seeing more of that relationship in Season 88… if they have a Season 88. More on that later.

— Wow… Kevin Nealon in Episode 5 as The Teething Tree Man! A performance that might redeem him after sinking so low in those Xarelto commercials. The Teething Tree Man myth, based on H.P. Lovecraft’s unfinished fantasy novel itself loosely based on Honore De Balzac’s life, had a plot line that meandered into the woods since we’d learned in Season 29 episode 3 (or ep 4? 8?) that The Teething Tree Man is only visible to Dog Soldiers inducted into the Birds Eye Maple Consortium. (Note: Sorry, I can’t confirm those episodes since Ryan Murphy originally produced the series and went to Netflix. Seasons 21-29 are only available to buy on Amazon Prime Ne Plus Ultra and my editor is restricting my budget. Any readers want to write my editor to increase my budget?)

— We finally see the Shutov Assembly and have answers to the time travel questions from Seasons 47 and 48. Look at that surreal scene from Season 47, episode 1: those 2 characters in the parking lot with the sports car? Don’t they look a lot like Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd! My theory: the barn houses an interstellar radio transmitter with the power of 10 suns capable of turning back time and reconnecting Tom with Darius. Read my comments on an endless Subreddit about Shutov. Some say it was just made to look like an interstellar radio transmitter but is a garden-variety, large array radio telescope with aperture synthesis interferometry. Thoughts, radio astronomy readers?

Casting About

— Love, love, love Dave the dragon! A dragon that talks while breathing fire was odd but humanized him. If you can’t feel sympathy when Dave apologizes after accidentally burning the village then you have no heart. Uncredited voice of the Dragon? Not Ryan Reynolds! Guesses, readers?

— John Turturro… totally miscast in the role of Bumbalini Corporation CEO. Such great talent in and they say three words, “Erase the whiteboard!”—what a waste!

— The internet went crazy when Cait Blanchett took the role of bar floozy Estelle, a role originally meant for Amy Schumer who backed out after she was cast in Al Pacino’s direction of Macbeth on Broadway. Sometimes… I think the Internet is crazy.

Lastly… Shards of Grass

— That sex scene in episode 1 shot from a drone in Super 8 film? WTF?!? Drone pilots and film geeks loved it. Everybody else, not so much. What’s next? Super 16 shot from a wakeboard??

— Still no clue about a season 38. Hulu and Crackle—non-committal; Lifetime and Showtime—mum.

— Rumors that Kanye West will play “The Farmer In The Dell?” Supposedly unfounded.

— The showrunner for next season… may literally be a runner! Usain Bolt’s agent confided in me he’s a huge fan of the show and interested in writing for TV.

Final Note To My Dear Readers/Fans

— This may be my last recap for a while. My husband is concerned about my general cognitive dissonance and sleepwalking. Write my editor to keep me on the prestige TV beat.

Don’t write my husband. I’m in trouble.

Follow Points in Case on Twitter.

Join The Second City writing classes on satire, sketch, and TV – 10% off with code PIC.

Check out events at The Satire and Humor Festival in NYC March 22-24.

Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.