Homepage / Fake News / Royal Baby Watch! Harry And Meghan Just Carved A Hole In The Side Of The PODS Container Where They Live Through Which Meghan Will Give Birth
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Fake News

Royal Baby Watch! Harry And Meghan Just Carved A Hole In The Side Of The PODS Container Where They Live Through Which Meghan Will Give Birth

Less than a month has passed since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced that they are expecting their first baby, but that hasn’t stopped the soon-to-be parents from making arrangements for the day their newborn arrives. As expected, the latest royal couple is about to enter the next phase of their lives together in utterly flawless fashion: Harry and Meghan just carved a hole in the side of the PODS container where they live through which Meghan will give birth!

Perfection! You can bet the paparazzi will be climbing over each other for a chance to snap the first-ever photos of the new royal baby’s precious little legs dangling out the side of the PODS container where it will grow up.

Yesterday, British tabloids caught footage of Harry and Meghan working together to saw a coffee-can-size hole from inside their PODS container home, using a variety of tools as part of the process, including a straight razor, an electric turkey carver, and eventually a handgun to shoot out any remaining rough edges around the circular opening. For those of us across the pond unfamiliar with royal tradition, Meghan has hand-selected this wall of the PODS container to drill a hole into and then give birth through, and once the baby has been pushed through the hole and onto the grass just outside the PODS container, Harry and Meghan will slowly pull their newborn child back into the storage unit by its umbilical cord.

Yup, the Duke and the Duchess of Sussex are truly getting the romantic, fairy-tale life that they deserve!

After 56 hours of hard work drilling the hole, Harry and Meghan completed construction of the passage by testing whether a wild fox could squeeze into it—which one did, with ease—after which the red-haired prince put his arm around his loving wife and solemnly whispered to her, “As my brother, the queen, has always said, ‘If a fox can squeeze into it, then a human baby can squeeze out of it.’” Now that the royal birthing hole has passed the test, tradition dictates that it shall remain wreathed in garlands made of Chinese-takeout receipts and guarded by a Canadian Mountie until Meghan gives birth to her first child in the year 2032.

The royal couple then held hands and waved to photographers through the birthing hole before pushing an eight-pack of paper-towel rolls out of it one by one to provide a soft landing for their child the day that Meghan’s son or daughter enters the world via the new perforation in their PODS container.

Yup, Harry and Meghan are parenting goals personified! Three more wild foxes just got into the PODS container.

These two are truly living out their happily-ever-after together, and we’re so here for it. Could they be anymore perfect?! We’re already counting the days until Harry gets down on all fours and lets Meghan lay on his back as he lifts her up to the height of the hole in the side of the PODS container to give birth to the royal family’s next beautiful child. Congratulations again to Harry and Meghan!!!


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