I’m Hot Now Package
Perfect for young guys, gals, and others who’ve put their rough middle school years behind them and want to make the whole school smash that like button. This package will make your old crushes regret literally everything. In addition to 3 outfit changes, this package includes a complimentary shot in jeans and a white tee to remind everyone that you even look better than them in basics now.
You’ll get all your faves in 8x10s, 5x7s, 5x5s, and little 3x5s that you can casually drop right in front of the girl who called you “the waddling wombat” on the 7th-grade field trip to Boston.
I Did Extracurriculars Package
Did you do a lot of activities at a high level? Do those activities involve props that don’t necessarily photograph well? Then this is the package for you.
We’ll perfectly arrange your menagerie of goods in a tableau that encompasses all of the extracurriculars that made you run through the hallways breathing heavily past the jealous helicopter moms commenting, “wow, you do so much, I don’t know how you manage it all.” We’ll hang your cross country medal from the debate podium with the cover of the school newspaper taped to it. You can wear your Choir Robe and your National Honor Society tassels while holding your AP Ceramics project in your hand. The children and/or animals that you volunteer with can wear your basketball jersey and hold the Yearbook you edited while the Italian Club Flag flies in the background.
These images come in both digital and prints as well as 150 ready-made thank you cards to send to all of your club faculty advisors.
I Had Sex In High School Package
If your significant other spends as much time at your house as you do and you spent at least one school dance crying about a pregnancy scare, then this is the package for you!
This one includes a couple’s shoot, probably on a staircase with one of you straddling the other, or sitting side by side on a thick tree branch to let everyone know that both of you are in a committed relationship that assuredly involves sex. Your selected images will come in 5×7 for the dorm room wall, 3×5 for your wallet, and 15 square digital images for posting on all the major couple holidays. This package also includes an optional “photoshop insurance” addition if the images need to be converted to solo pictures later.
I’m Going To An Ivy Package
Congrats! We’re so proud of you! All that hard work paid off! Now grab your t-shirt, sweatshirt, hat, notebook, backpack, coasters, and flag all stamped with your new college’s crest and let’s Get. Those. Likes. From. All. The. Aunts.
This package includes a shot of you sitting on railroad tracks in the hoodie of your future alma mater, a headshot of you with your acceptance letter, as well as one of you surrounded by books, test tubes, or whatever it was that got your smarty pants into an Ivy! Images come in 8×10 for the family walls, 4×6 for the family photo album, and 12 cover photo-sized options for you to alternate between every month for the next 5 years. Congrats again.
I Love My Car Package
We love when our fabulous seniors already have an idea for how and where they want to pose for their pictures. This package is specially designed for those whose 16th birthday was the greatest moment of their life. We know you’re just using this photos to get more compliments on and questions about your sweet ride, and we’re here to help!
You’ll get to pick two out of three outfit options: Wearing denim jacket, holding denim jacket, or holding leather jacket. You will also select between three of five post options: sitting on the car hood, leaning against the car, sitting inside the car looking out the window, sitting on top of the car, or lying down under the car like you were just working on it, but looking up with a knowing smirk. Personalization is key!
Your selects will come in cover photo size, wallet size, full bleed posters, and a throw blanket. This package is also available to our motorcycle owners who are welcome to add “wearing leather jacket” to their wardrobe options.
Everything is A Metaphor Package
We have a photographer named Eugene who just got his MFA in photography and is really into portraiture as metaphor right now. All the images in this package will be thoughtful, easily-understandable metaphors for the future that stretches before you.
Your gorgeous shots will be captured in front of a barn door on a vast expanse, swinging on an old swing, underneath a bridge, and looking intently over a vast body of water (preferably an ocean but we do have bay capabilities as well). We also offer post-production options that include a soaring eagle bound for the horizon or an image of your younger self looking back at you in a mirror. (Eugene knows Photoshop)
All your selects will be printed on wall-sized canvases big enough to cover all of the art projects your parents have kept and hung over the years.
Everything is A Metaphor Package (Landlocked)
The same as above except the water picture is replaced with a barn door picture from a different angle.
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