Frosted Flakes > Moist Sugar Dandruff

Cheerios > Tiny Plain Donuts

Reese’s Puffs > Single Dad Needs a Win This Morning

Single Dad Needs A Win This Morning (cereal box)

Fruity Pebbles > Chewed Up Froot Loops

Raisin Bran > Raisin Bran 2: The Reckoning

Lucky Charms > Marshmallow Appropriation

Trix > Let The Rabbit Die (Cereal)

Cocoa Puffs > Chocolate Milk With Extra Steps

Rice Krispies Treats > Rice Krispies Tricks (You’ve Been Tricked, Now Eat It)

Cookie Crisp > Literally Stale Cookies

Cinnamon Toast Crunch > Fuck I’m High, Pass the Cinnamon Toast Crunch My Dude. Yo, If This WAS Toast Though, That Would Make My Hands So Big. No, Look, Pretend This is a Real Piece of Toast, That Would Make My Hand As Big As… A Microwave, Dude. I’d Have Microwave Sized Hands, Man. They’d Never Fit Through My Shirt Sleeves. That Would Suck. I’m Fucking Geekin’, Man. Pass Me More Crunch.

Capt’n Crunch > Colonel Blood Gums

Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats

Life > Sure, But is it Worth Living Like This?

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