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Fake News

I’m Writing Today to Recommend My Student and His Viral Fail Video



To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing today as the principal of Northfolk Senior Regional High School to recommend Sam Weisberg as part of his application to Northwestern University. Sam is a sterling student, a responsible, kind young man, and also brought national attention to our school as the subject of the viral video sensation “Bouncy Ball Fail [Painful!]”

From his first days a member of the freshman class, I could tell that Sam had a great aptitude in a variety of disciplines and activities—from AV Club all the way to his introductory rock climbing gym elective—making him well-rounded Northwestern material. This was confirmed when the video of him jumping onto a large bouncy ball from a great height, causing the ball to fly out from underneath him and destroy his parents’ new Roku TV, and causing Sam to exclaim: “Daddy’s Roku!” racked up 120,000 views in just under three days. A new school record!

Sam is also a wonderful example of a student leader—one who rallies other students with a positive and productive attitude. For instance, when Sam took the mic at our February Fling, he led a rousing call-and-response of “Daddy’s!” “Roku!” “Daddy’s!” “Roku!” which, in this principal’s opinion, simply made the night. Though the dance move some students modeled after “Bouncy Ball Fail” resulted in several minor concussions, I am told that students all across the school district are following their lead. If someday soon you and your immediate family find yourself watching a bouncy ball-inspired dance on the Jimmy Fallon Show, you’ll have Sam to thank.

But of all Sam’s accomplishments, one stands out to me in particular. In my twenty-five years in the public school system, first as a guidance counselor, then as an assistant principal, then, finally, as a real principal, I have never been so proud of a student as I was the day Sam was invited down to the CBCS Channel 5 station, downtown, to play “Bouncy Ball Fail” on the news and be presented with a brand new Roku TV by handsome daytime anchor Darren McMillian. I was not invited, but I watched from home. Sam stood on that soundstage, and took that Roku remote in his hand, and gave a respectful nod, and pretended to take a huge fake hit off it like it was a fat, fat blunt—a move only someone officially collecting almost fifteen cents a week in YouTube advertising could pull off.

Sam Weisberg’s hard work, academic curiosity, and willingness to jump on a big bouncy ball a second time—at my behest, in order to keep this thing going and rack up another 450,000-view piece of viral content with a stunning 70-30 positive-to-negative comment ratio—has put our little school on the map. As I rarely write personal recommendations for students, I can confidently say he will do the same for your university and its floundering football program.

Sincerely,

Principal Andy Weisberg


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