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Fake News

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn, Wife Says They Have to Go

Just to be clear, the kid is totally fine; and yeah, in hindsight maybe buying a $120 pair of Nikes for someone who outgrew them on the ride home wasn’t a sound investment.

My wife got really mad and called me an idiot for it. I have feelings too, you know. I mean, come on. You really think I believe the kid can walk? Jesus, he can’t even hold a spoon correctly.

I bought the sneakers because I think they’re funny and they look so cool. They look awesome. Are you telling me you can look at these tiny little Nike hightops and keep a straight face? No way.

I’m selling the shoes on here because I refuse to take them back to the store. I’d look like some sort of jackass. How embarrassing would that be, walking through the Foot Locker carrying a teensy-weensy pair of Nikes to the returns counter?

Sure, I walked through the Foot Locker with the shoes once already, but that was when I was buying them. There is an enormous difference between those two scenarios. If I returned the sneakers, I’d have to look that cashier in the eye and ask to return a pair of size 2 Air Force 1’s. He’d know. He’d look at me and he’d know I’m a man who bought the wrong baby shoes.

Arguably, it would have been more frugal to buy baby shoes at a store like Payless ShoeSource. But Payless isn’t high-quality footwear. They don’t even sell Nike Air Force 1’s there. Payless shoes are cheap garbage. I won’t have my little man wearing cheap garbage as he’s pushed along in his stroller. I’ll get locked away before I see him rolling in some cut-rate, generic shoe brand. Style is important for a developing brain, and Payless isn’t stylish.

I’m asking $100 firm for the shoes (they’re in perfect condition).

I wish my kid could keep the shoes, but my wife is really adamant about getting rid of them. Happy wife, happy life, am I right?

Anyway, as you can see in the picture, the Nikes are black with white trim and laces. They came with an extra set of black laces, so I’ll throw those in too. Jeremy at the Foot Locker swore up and down that these sneakers are well worth the money. He told me they’re actually the number one seller in the store. How could anyone say no to that?

I also looked up similar footwear online and I think my asking price is fair for the quality of shoe you’re getting.

I might consider a trade if you have a few pairs of baby shoes (sizes 2-6) on hand. They would have to be high quality (NO PAYLESS), and my wife would have to see them first. I don’t want to go through this process again. The goal is for my baby to have fashionable, dependable sneakers to wear as he crawls around on our living room floor or sits in his high chair.

The shoes you trade won’t be as awesome as these Air Force 1’s, but my loss is your gain. Your kid could be the talk of the nursery if you decide to buy these hightops.

Like I said, the Nikes are really great and I wish I could keep them for my kid, but my wife is still pretty annoyed at the whole “$120” thing. The sooner I get rid of these baby shoes, the better. They’re probably going to go fast, so let me know ASAP if you’re interested. You can email me or shoot me a text at the number below. No phone calls please.

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