Homepage / Fake News / For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn, Wife Says They Have to Go
I Won’t Eat Caribou Unless It’s Slaughtered By at Least a Somewhat Automatic Weapon 4 Ways for Audiophiles to Drown Out the Sounds of a Dying Cat How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman Opinion: Less Guns Means More Mass Killing by Cutlery Offering ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ Just Don’t Fly No More: Hot Air Always Dissipates Trump Renews Call to Promote Mentally Ill A Comedian Made a Joke About the Holocaust, and Now I Feel Unsafe Someone Broke Into Our Hulu Account An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything ‘Oh God, What Happened Last Night?’ Says Groggy Mike Pence After Waking Up In Same Bed As Wife Doubles Luge to Add More Men to Sled for next Games FBI Quickly Follows Up On Tip About Potentially Dangerous Man Who Killed 17 In School Shooting The Self-Applauding President… but Will He Go Blind? Uphill Skiing Competition Enters 6th Day Trump, Truth and the Lantern of Dreams Cute New Dog Helping Single Man Pick Up Tons Of Hot Shit The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews White House Advisor Stephen Miller Male Dogs Twice As Likely To Win At Westminster Dog Show Nation Hears Voices Encouraging It To Buy Gun What It's Like Being An Adult Getting a Credit Card For the First Time Raytheon Unveils Military Robot Capable Of Composing Poignant Poems About Horrors Of War The 6 Stages of Watching an Olympic Sport Episode 3: Calloway Day If Movies Had Honest Titles (February 2018 Edition) Archaeologists Unearth Ivory Trumpet Dating Back To Prehistoric Jazz Age Man Looking For Job That Plays To His Natural Talent For Half-Assing Things Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie Hi, I'm Paul Ryan, And I'm Pretty Much an Ogre At This Point North Korea Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling @TwitterSupport Your Platform Won’t Allow Me to Unfollow the American President In Exclusive Interview “World’s Most Interesting Man” Endorses SatireWorld New York City Pizzerias Rated by How Good They Are for Hiding from Your Ex-Wife Trying to Collect Her Alimony Check 3 Years After the Breakup, I Finally Stopped Drunk Texting My Ex’s Mom, Pam I Used A Robot To Write A Comic And It Got Very Weird The Cherry Pickers | HumorFeed New School Shooter Drill Includes Practicing Pleas To Lawmakers To Do Something About This Under New Budget The Department Of Housing And Urban Development (HUD) Is Now Just UD ‘Sports Illustrated’ Publishes First Swimsuit Issue Of #MeToo Movement Long-term couple say Valentine’s Day was ‘nothing special’ But I’m Oppressed! (SPOILER: No You’re Not!) (2/4) Tips For Treating A Bed Bug Infestation Veteran Congressman Can Still Remember When Inaction On Gun Violence Actually Presented A Moral Dilemma Thousands Of Dismembered Crash Test Dummies Line Newly Discovered Catacombs Beneath Ford Motor Plant Bad Polling Is Ruining Everything Woman In Commercial Doing Yoga To Narration Of Drug's Fatal Side Effects I’m Sick and Tired of Congress Politicizing Tragedies Like the One I’m About to Perpetrate John Kelly Apologizes For Assuming Everyone Would Ignore Abuse Allegations Like They Do In Military Stop Telling Kids How Easy They Have It White House Compare Potential Food Stamps Replacement Program To ‘Blue Apron’ Trump Surprises Melania With A Romantic Dinner For One Relationship Experts Say Mailing Body Part To Ex On Valentine’s Day Only Way To Win Them Back Donald Trump Spends Another Valentine's Day Completely Alone Lone, Weak Bystander Targeted By Pack Of Female Friends Who Want Their Picture Taken Chloe Kim Recalls Growing Up Under Parents' Intense Pressure To Just Chillax And Shred The Gnar Gnar An Olympian’s Guide to Having Sex with Athletes Living Under Various Forms of Government PetSmart Introduces Heart-Shaped Puppy For Valentine’s Day Stan Lee’s Cameo in My Life as My Dad Has Officially Gone From “Kind of Endearing” to “Where is the Film Crew Hiding?” 89% Of Husbands Planning To Surprise Wife On Valentine’s Day By Dressing As Naked, Chubby Cherub Funniest Poker Moments – Humor Times, Humor Times ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens The South is Rising Again ‘Peter Rabbit’ Film Criticized For Making Light Of Allergies The Cherry Pickers – Will Durst, Humor Times Shuddering Astrid Menks Comes Home To Trail Of Rose Petals Leading To Nude, Spread-Eagle Warren Buffett Schnauzers Rioting Outside Madison Square Garden Following Westminster Dog Show Defeat Snowy Mountain In Pyeongchang Figures It Can Withstand 1 Or 2 More Big Cheers Before Triggering Avalanche What All 17 Year Olds Who Aren’t Winning Olympic Golds Are Doing Teddy Bear Feels Terrible For Sparking ‘What Are We?’ Conversation Man Who Forgot To Buy Valentine's Day Gift Relieved To Remember Wife Passed Away Years Ago Hentai Message Board Features Surprisingly Close-Knit, Supportive Community Emily & Murph Wrote A Book About Relationships, Love, and Other Junk Obamas’ Presidential Portrait Revealed Five Moves the Trump Administration Should Have Made at the NBA Trade Deadline Rand Paul Beaten by Other Neighbor The Sunny Side Of The Street Trump Announces Plan To Replace Food Stamps With New Low-Income Foraging Program (satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #144 White House Now Just Holding Continuous Going-Away Party For Departing Staffers There Is No P.F. Chang’s In PyeongChang | Adobo Chronicles Congress Confused By $500 Million In Trump’s Budget Allocated For ‘Laser Stuff’ John Kelly Takes Responsibility For Failing To Properly Silence Victims Americans Gear Up For Valentine’s Day Ra Wins Westminster God Show Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 13, 2018 You're All a Bunch of Phone Zombies Timeline Of The U.S. Labor Movement Texas Schools To No Longer Teach Students About Autoerotic Asphyxiation L.L. Bean Ends Iconic Lifetime Return Policy Eddie Bauer Announces New Line Of Brown Clothes Gwyneth Paltrow’s Valentine’s Day Essentials Please Reconsider Me for the Role of “7-Eleven Cashier #1” Detective Refuses To Pry Into Circumstances Of Murder Out Of Respect For Deceased Report: Whoa, Last Person On Treadmill Ran 8 Miles Olympic Drug Testing Official Left Horribly Disfigured After Coming Into Contact With Russian Urine Living On Campus vs. Living Off Campus Episode 2: What I Know And What I Don’t Know Yet Woody Allen’s Greatest Victims: Guys Who Can No Longer Say “Annie Hall” Is Their Favorite Romantic Comedy Cities Move To Outlaw Hollow-Point Silver Bullets After Wave Of Gruesome Werewolf Slayings Bannon: #MeToo Movement Could Spell End For Trump Throckmorton P. Trudblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” | You make the news…We report it!

Fake News

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn, Wife Says They Have to Go

Buy the Wine Cloud T-Shirt at Awkward T-shirts
dab on them haters t-shirt
I Believe in ReinCATnation T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Books Reading T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Breaking News T-Shirt Amazon.com
Arrow
Arrow
PlayPause
Slider



Just to be clear, the kid is totally fine; and yeah, in hindsight maybe buying a $120 pair of Nikes for someone who outgrew them on the ride home wasn’t a sound investment.

My wife got really mad and called me an idiot for it. I have feelings too, you know. I mean, come on. You really think I believe the kid can walk? Jesus, he can’t even hold a spoon correctly.

I bought the sneakers because I think they’re funny and they look so cool. They look awesome. Are you telling me you can look at these tiny little Nike hightops and keep a straight face? No way.

I’m selling the shoes on here because I refuse to take them back to the store. I’d look like some sort of jackass. How embarrassing would that be, walking through the Foot Locker carrying a teensy-weensy pair of Nikes to the returns counter?

Sure, I walked through the Foot Locker with the shoes once already, but that was when I was buying them. There is an enormous difference between those two scenarios. If I returned the sneakers, I’d have to look that cashier in the eye and ask to return a pair of size 2 Air Force 1’s. He’d know. He’d look at me and he’d know I’m a man who bought the wrong baby shoes.

Arguably, it would have been more frugal to buy baby shoes at a store like Payless ShoeSource. But Payless isn’t high-quality footwear. They don’t even sell Nike Air Force 1’s there. Payless shoes are cheap garbage. I won’t have my little man wearing cheap garbage as he’s pushed along in his stroller. I’ll get locked away before I see him rolling in some cut-rate, generic shoe brand. Style is important for a developing brain, and Payless isn’t stylish.

I’m asking $100 firm for the shoes (they’re in perfect condition).

I wish my kid could keep the shoes, but my wife is really adamant about getting rid of them. Happy wife, happy life, am I right?

Anyway, as you can see in the picture, the Nikes are black with white trim and laces. They came with an extra set of black laces, so I’ll throw those in too. Jeremy at the Foot Locker swore up and down that these sneakers are well worth the money. He told me they’re actually the number one seller in the store. How could anyone say no to that?

I also looked up similar footwear online and I think my asking price is fair for the quality of shoe you’re getting.

I might consider a trade if you have a few pairs of baby shoes (sizes 2-6) on hand. They would have to be high quality (NO PAYLESS), and my wife would have to see them first. I don’t want to go through this process again. The goal is for my baby to have fashionable, dependable sneakers to wear as he crawls around on our living room floor or sits in his high chair.

The shoes you trade won’t be as awesome as these Air Force 1’s, but my loss is your gain. Your kid could be the talk of the nursery if you decide to buy these hightops.

Like I said, the Nikes are really great and I wish I could keep them for my kid, but my wife is still pretty annoyed at the whole “$120” thing. The sooner I get rid of these baby shoes, the better. They’re probably going to go fast, so let me know ASAP if you’re interested. You can email me or shoot me a text at the number below. No phone calls please.




Source link