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Fake News

Five Power Ties to Match Your Ruthless Expression As You Testify Against Your Best Friend

It’s that time of year again: the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you’ve been summoned to the courthouse to testify against Michael. With so many options available, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, while you’re busy saving your neck, we’ll make sure you do it in style.

1. Green Shantung Silk Tie

This rustic beauty is the perfect choice to introduce yourself to the courtroom. It’s checkered pattern and earth-tone green might not turn any heads, but it’s sensible, just like this decision. You wouldn’t want to distract from your big moment when the prosecutor asks if you recognize the defendant.

As you point at Michael, his eyes won’t stray from yours, but everyone on that jury will take note of the way you’re dressed.

2. Maroon Tussah Silk Tie

Now that you’re in the swing of things, it’s time to kick your style up a notch.

The deep maroon of this Tussah silk harkens back to a simpler time when you two we’re up and comers to the game. Standing on that rooftop you made a promise, that this city was yours for the tacking if you vowed to stay together. This tie boasts a loosely woven texture whose casual flair brilliantly counteracts the fact that your condemning your childhood friend to a life in prison.

3. Stripped Linen Tie

This tie is sophistication incarnate; it’s linen material will help to accentuate the relaxed vibe that you would be looking to portray. It’s striped pattern is also not unlike the bars you’ve managed to avoid being trapped within.

You always were the smart one—the only reason the both of you even made it this far was your savvy for the streets. Sure, Michael could move product or shake a guy down as well as anybody. But he never had the mind for business this tie embodies. Just business.

4. Crimson Wool Tie

Day four of the trial means it’s time to make a splash—and what better way than this striking crimson wool?

Red… who knew a body could hold so much of it. It was all over the floor and it covered your hands. What happened to the knife? Michael didn’t even seem to care as a he grabbed the body by its feet and ordered you to take the shoulders.

As each day stretches out longer than the one before, and memories past feel hazy with regret, this outstanding piece of fabric is sure to make an impression.

5. Fuchsia Bowtie Tie

The last of our list is the simple and elegant bowtie. The last you’ll ever wear if you can help it. Sure, it might not be the most conventional choice for a courtroom, but fashion, like the distinction between right and wrong, is arbitrary. It’s circular form reminds us there are no beginnings or ends, only the ongoing process of learning to live with what you’ve become.

That’s our guide! With these tips you can go out into the world and enjoy and enjoy the sweltering summer weather with freedom you’ve been granted.

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