Homepage / Fake News / Five Power Ties to Match Your Ruthless Expression As You Testify Against Your Best Friend
Sweetheart, The Day You Were Conceived Was The Best Day Of My Life Al Roker Strongly Considers Retiring From Creating The Weather Can A Serial Marijuana User Like Josh Gordon Fit In With The Patriots’ Cocaine-Based Culture? Premature Evacuation: Exit Seat Employment Kevin Hart Just Going To Assume He’s In ‘Space Jam 2’ Unless He Hears Otherwise Hookers and Porn Models in Uproar after ‘Mario Kart’ Trump Dick Revelation 80% Of Women Currently Wearing Wrong Size Bra, Shirt, Shoes, Pants, Hat How Far-Out Is Trump’s War Policy? How Trump Is Remaking America’s Court System The GOP Hokey Pokey – Will Durst, Humor Times Jimmy Butler Gives Wolves List Of 29 Preferred Trade Destinations r/Relationships: I suspect that my GF [33] steals monuments GOP Officials Urge Calmer, More Reasonable Death Threats Toward Kavanaugh Accuser Ripping the Headlines Today, 9/18/18 Top 10 Reasons Trump Will Never Step Down ‘Sesame Street’ Writer Backtracks On Claim That Bert And Bernie Gay BBC announces spin -off series for the Bodyguard Weight Loss Hypnosis for Free, if that’s the Sort of Humbug you’re into Report: Make It Stop Stumbling Drunk Chuck Grassley Warns Kavanaugh Accuser She Can Testify All She Wants But No One’s Going To Believe Her Celebrity Slumber Party with Jack Black Trump Makes Light-Hearted Jokes With Dead Bodies Of Hurricane Victims During Visit To Carolinas 4th Grader Panics Upon Realizing Classmate Giving Presentation Had Exact Same Summer As He Did Sensory Homunculus Diagram So Fucking Hot New Beatles Box Set Features 172 Unreleased Songs About Wanting To Hold Hands Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, Will You Give My “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Spec a Read? The Worst Hurricanes In U.S. History Senate Passes Bipartisan Opioid Legislation Supposedly Educated Professor Has No Idea How To Get Bird Out Of Lecture Hall We Have Proof That Muppets Have Sex and Bert & Ernie Are Gay How I Failed at Being a Gilmore Girl Kavanaugh Shouldn’t Be Held Accountable For Something He Did As White Teenager FEMA Dispatches Crews To Do Whatever They Need To Do To Look Busy Ink-Splattered Trump Boys Counter Media Bias By Hand-Printing Own Newspaper In White House Basement The Best of Precious Plum & Mama PlayStation Classic To Include Friend Who Always Whooped Your Ass To Complete Retro Gaming Experience Shocking Biblical Study Reveals Methushael Did Not Beget Lamech Paul McCartney Releases 18th Solo Album Local Man Unsure If Woman Type Of Lesbian Who Only Dates Women Your #MeToo “Apology” For Yom Kippur Has Been Rejected Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set Clarence Thomas Returns To Senate As White Man Named Brett My Husband Les Moonvez Gave Us Young Sheldon, And That's Good Enough for Me! By: Julie Chen London Mayor Calls For Second Brexit Referendum Fraternity Brothers Make Note Not To Kill Pledge Whose Family Has Lake House Marc Benioff Buys ‘Time’ Magazine For $190 Million White House Increases Number Of Asylum Seekers Allowed To Enter Spike-Filled Refugee Compactor Ted Cruz Attempts To Connect With Voters By Wearing More Handsome Man’s Face As Mask Blood-Spattered Sarah Huckabee Sanders Holds Up Huge Dismembered Penis To Prove Presidential Member Completely Normal Woman Longs For Day When First Female President Can Have Tell-All Book Written About Disgusting Vagina Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 18, 2018 Video Game Character Stares Impotently At Forbidden Realm Beyond Impassable Waist-High Bush Emotional Le’Veon Bell Reveals Holdout A Result Of Forgetting How To Run Is This The Worst Life Hack Ever Made? How to Make an Atom Bomb While Your Roommates Are Out of Town Tips For Long Bike Rides Scientist Close To Developing Life-Saving Vaccine That They Can Rub In Faces Of Their Doubters RuPaul Makes History as Viacom Earns 8 Awards – Viacom Corporate A Massive Storm is Barreling Down on my Family and Conversation with Them Has Never Been Easier Semi-Humorous Meetings with Strange Creatures in the Night The Failing Donald Trump Hires a Posse White Castle Now Selling Veggie Burger Sliders Nationwide The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Buckwheat Luke, Owen Wilson Recall Meeting On Set Of ‘The Royal Tenenbaums’ Kavanaugh Defends His Originalist Position Fingernail Got Fucking Huge Out Of Nowhere We Want Your House – Howard Zaharoff, Humor Times Cash-Strapped Zuckerberg Forced To Sell 11 Million Facebook Users Senate Republicans Seek To Delay Kavanaugh Vote Until Accuser Properly Smeared Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial Kavanaugh Sweating Bullets After Betting Life Savings On Being Confirmed To Supreme Court FEMA Airdrops Emergency Cyanide Pills For Residents Stranded By Hurricane Florence Don’t Blame Me, Blame The Stars! GOP Releases New Letter Supporting Kavanaugh Signed By Orrin Hatch 500 Times Steve Bannon Calls #MeToo Most Powerful Political Movement In World Marine Biologists Reveal That Majority Of World’s Oceans Remain Boring As Shit White House Raises Official Hurricane Florence Death Toll To -17 Our Weirdest Sex Misconceptions Koch Brothers Furious Kavanaugh Never Disclosed That Nation Might Care About Sexual Abuse I Read Your Guidelines, But I’m Submitting This Piece That Clearly Isn’t a Fit for Your Publication Because, Well, Just Read It and You’ll See Why Kavanaugh On Sexual Assault Allegations: ‘I Miss High School’ The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 17, 2018 Maxine Waters Fails Hearing Test | You make the news…We report it! Oh no! Elon Musk went on a heroin user's podcast and shot himself full of junk Um, Actually: Star Trek, Schwarzenegger, and Stoker The Pillow Personality Test | Points in Case Donald Trump Claims He’s Found Obama’s ‘Lost Birth Certificate’ There’s Nothing Quite Like Traveling Abroad and Soaking In All the Rich, Authentic Poverty Pope Summons World’s Bishops For Meeting On Sexual Abuse Frat Brothers Draw All Over Pledge Who Passed Away At Party Second Fatwa Issued On Salman Rushdie For Derivative, Uninspired 13th Novel High School Drama Teacher Already Has Pretty Good Idea Who He’ll Pick For Fall Girlfriend The Onion’s 2018 Emmy Predictions Manafort Reaches Plea Deal With Special Counsel Top 5 Most Potent Celery Strains You’re Upset I Broke Into Your House And Stole A Bunch Of Your Shit. Don’t Worry, I’m Donating Everything To Goodwill Scientists Announce They’ve Completed Mapping The Human G-Spot Woman’s Children Officially Old Enough To Pony Up For Good Birthday Gift This Year Mike Pence Struggling To Reckon With Vision Of Prophet Muhammad Revealing That VP Destined To Become Next President 7 Misdemeanors Every College Kid Justifies as Fine

Fake News

Five Power Ties to Match Your Ruthless Expression As You Testify Against Your Best Friend



It’s that time of year again: the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you’ve been summoned to the courthouse to testify against Michael. With so many options available, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, while you’re busy saving your neck, we’ll make sure you do it in style.

1. Green Shantung Silk Tie

This rustic beauty is the perfect choice to introduce yourself to the courtroom. It’s checkered pattern and earth-tone green might not turn any heads, but it’s sensible, just like this decision. You wouldn’t want to distract from your big moment when the prosecutor asks if you recognize the defendant.

As you point at Michael, his eyes won’t stray from yours, but everyone on that jury will take note of the way you’re dressed.

2. Maroon Tussah Silk Tie

Now that you’re in the swing of things, it’s time to kick your style up a notch.

The deep maroon of this Tussah silk harkens back to a simpler time when you two we’re up and comers to the game. Standing on that rooftop you made a promise, that this city was yours for the tacking if you vowed to stay together. This tie boasts a loosely woven texture whose casual flair brilliantly counteracts the fact that your condemning your childhood friend to a life in prison.

3. Stripped Linen Tie

This tie is sophistication incarnate; it’s linen material will help to accentuate the relaxed vibe that you would be looking to portray. It’s striped pattern is also not unlike the bars you’ve managed to avoid being trapped within.

You always were the smart one—the only reason the both of you even made it this far was your savvy for the streets. Sure, Michael could move product or shake a guy down as well as anybody. But he never had the mind for business this tie embodies. Just business.

4. Crimson Wool Tie

Day four of the trial means it’s time to make a splash—and what better way than this striking crimson wool?

Red… who knew a body could hold so much of it. It was all over the floor and it covered your hands. What happened to the knife? Michael didn’t even seem to care as a he grabbed the body by its feet and ordered you to take the shoulders.

As each day stretches out longer than the one before, and memories past feel hazy with regret, this outstanding piece of fabric is sure to make an impression.

5. Fuchsia Bowtie Tie

The last of our list is the simple and elegant bowtie. The last you’ll ever wear if you can help it. Sure, it might not be the most conventional choice for a courtroom, but fashion, like the distinction between right and wrong, is arbitrary. It’s circular form reminds us there are no beginnings or ends, only the ongoing process of learning to live with what you’ve become.

That’s our guide! With these tips you can go out into the world and enjoy and enjoy the sweltering summer weather with freedom you’ve been granted.




Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish