Homepage / Fake News / FEMA Airdrops Emergency Cyanide Pills For Residents Stranded By Hurricane Florence
List: What I Imagine Being an English Butler is Like Karen Pence Returns To Work As Part-Time Nude Art Model How To Sound Smart Presumptuous Congressional Freshman Thinks She Can Just Come In And Represent Constituents Zamboni Jams Up After Running Over Large Patch Of Loose Teeth Netflix Raising Prices The Universe Tells Me | Points in Case List: The 5 Best Garnishes for an Egg Salad Sandwich on the Subway Fox News Debuts Premium Channel For 24-Hour Coverage Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez There No Way Of Knowing Whether The Vague Award Mom Won At Work A Big Deal Or What U.K. Parliament Rejects Theresa May’s Brexit Deal The Survival Guide for Open Mics Woman Rushes To Hide Fragile Objects, Cover Up Sharp Corners On Tables Before Boyfriend Comes Over Artists Draw Ugly Babies Lincoln Memorial Empty After Former President’s Statue Furloughed New Hampshire Legislature Passes Bill Naming Fentanyl State Opiate Furloughed Government Employee Using Time Off To Visit Local Food Pantry She Been Hearing About Photo Of Egg Breaks World Record For Most-Liked Instagram Post Cute Winter Date Activities To Do Right Before You Break Up Pros And Cons Of Pet Insurance This Dog Is Way Too Happy About Smelling Cancer List: You Won’t Believe the Names of Charles Dickens’ Top Five Male Porn Stars Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 15, 2019 Universe Admits We’re Here to Keep up with the Kardashians Man Crouched Inside Of Robotic Welding Arm Terrified Robot Will Eventually Take His Job Fed-Up EU Rejects United Kingdom, Gives British 30 Days To Vacate Europe Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet with R Kelly. Chuck Schumer Honestly Pretty Amazed He Hasn’t Caved Yet Progressive Populism: A Different Kind of Political Beauty GOP Leaders Condemn Steve King For White Supremacy Comment NBA Ref Petrified After Seeing Depiction Of Own Death While Looking Under Replay Hood Viagra Announces Real Medicine That Gave Customers Erections Was Confidence All Along Poll Shows Increasing Number Of Voters Blame Founding Fathers For Starting America The Gruesome Truth About Parasites [Full Episode] Victorian Courtship Etiquette That I, A Millennial Male, Am In Favor of Rekindling William Barr Assures Senate He Will Let Donald Trump Finish His Job Without Any Interference Government Shutdowns By The Numbers FBI Opened Inquiry Into Whether Trump Working For Russians I Just Found Out My Hot Gay Boyfriend Is Also My Twin Brother Tinder Announces App Will No Longer Match Users Solely With Distant Relatives Advisors Instruct William Barr To Avoid Referring To Trump As ‘My Liege’ During Confirmation Hearing Most Americans Blame Trump For Shutdown Furloughed Federal Employee Starts Online Search For New Government GOP Strips Steve King Of Post On Powerful House Segregation Committee 2005 Minnesota Vikings (with Rob O'Connor) ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Excited To Hear Series Will Finally Be Over A Computer Co-Wrote this Sketch Christmas Really Over, Man Realizes As iPhone Game Switches Out Holiday Icon R&B Singer Guesses She’ll Just Keep Moaning Into Mic Until Song Is Over List: Chuck Norris Would Like to Revisit His Facts Nation’s Idiots Announce Plans To Jump Off Their Roofs Into A Pile Of Snow And Break Their Fucking Legs Tips To Become a Better Job Hunter & Gatherer I’m Orville Redenbacher’s Dad and I Think His Popcorn Sucks Ass White Nationalists Accuse Google of Anti-Nazi Bias When He Doesn't Get the Hint [Full Episode] The Lemon Water You Drank in an Attempt to Detox Needs Back-Up Let Me and the 10 Demons That Possess Me Host the Oscars Locker Rooms Bilbo Gets Trolled The Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ‘I’ve Never Had Sex’ Interview Pt 2 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Instant Pot Recipes for Angering Everyone The Humor Times Needs Your Help! The Trump Family Intervention – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Chuck Grassley and Former Senator Orrin Hatch A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist Oh No, Did We Hurt Brennan's Feelings? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits: ‘I’ve Never Had Real Sex!’ | You make the news…We report it! List: Official Ranking of Every Hollywood “Chris” Ethan Hawke’s Body Found Dumped In Laurel Canyon As 2019 Oscar Race Heats Up I Will Continue to Block the Slide Until We Build a Wall Separating Our Recess from Mrs. Montgomery’s Class This Amazing New Anti-Bullying Campaign Reminds Kids That Even Though Bullying Might Be Fun, Rewarding, And Cool, It Can Sometimes Make You Tired List: What to Expect With Your First 18-Year-Old War I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason Fantasy High Binge Compilation (Episodes 1 – 8) I Have a Passion for Ecologically Restoring the Habitat of the Beast TSA Guy Circling Stuff On Boarding Pass With Reckless Abandon Advisory Group : “Being Speaker of the House Doesn’t Mean You Always Have to Have Your Mouth Open” Feeling Smart is the New Smart I’m Concerned My Cult Isn’t Sacrificing Enough Virgins Creating Rounded Characters (with Lou Wilson) You've NEVER Seen Star Wars?! Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Enemy Rita Repulsa Is Her Mother CIA Issues Posthumous Apology After New Evidence Clears Osama Bin Laden Of Involvement In 9/11 Attacks The Monster Under My Bed Is Addicted to His iPhone Study: Most Teens Who Respond to Acne Treatment Still Ugly After Xmas Gift Wish List Where Is AI Driving Us? The Family Dog Would Like Some Firm Rules on What Can & Cannot Be Humped Science and History Get Weird in WHAT THE F 101 [Official Trailer] Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 8, 2019 Tumbleweed Of Pubes Rolls Through Desolate Dorm Bathroom President Ends Shutdown After Disruption To Nation's Cheeseburger Supply Line Elon Musk, I Can Do Your Job! This Turkey is a Total TILF The State Nicknames Convention | Points in Case You Don't Actually Need a Menu It’s Not An Easy Thing To Admit When You’re Wrong, And That’s Why I Won’t Do It How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem An Amazon Warehouse Worker’s Year-In-Review Analytics

Fake News

FEMA Airdrops Emergency Cyanide Pills For Residents Stranded By Hurricane Florence


WILMINGTON, NC—In an effort to provide aid to those affected by the devastating weather event, FEMA representatives confirmed Monday the completion of their mission to airdrop emergency cyanide pills for residents stranded by Hurricane Florence. “We’ve spared no expense in making sure the residents of these areas are getting the best help available. If you’re trapped in an area threatened by rising floodwaters, rest assured that your cyanide pills will be arriving as quickly as possible,” said FEMA representative Roy Pelton, explaining that the decision to drop crates full of the lethal poison came after several less successful trial runs of delivering pallets loaded with nooses, razor blades, and guns containing single bullets. “These fast-acting 300-milligram pills have been thoroughly tested for their effectiveness at putting a swift end to all the pain and suffering associated with natural disasters, and we’re doing everything we can to make sure they’re being distributed to all the areas where they’re needed most. We are proud to confirm they can be used by the entire family, including pets.” Pelton admitted the agency learned to deliver the pills in a more timely manner after they arrived too late to mercy-kill the thousands of Puerto Ricans who had already died in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria.




Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish