Homepage / Fake News / DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing
Doctors Clear Ben Roethlisberger For Unwanted Contact When a Kink Chooses You Obama Endorses Not Doing Goddamn Thing To Fix Illinois In Midterms Tips For Getting Better At Crosswords Is Wayne Enterprises The ‘Silent Partner’ In Musk’s Recent Tesla Gambit? CBI issues best practice guidelines for awkward lift journeys Frustrated Men Demand To Know ‘Exactly Where On Tits It Okay To Touch Nowadays’ Free Books Until Midnight! | HumorFeed Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 21, 2018 LeBron James Crestfallen After Learning L.A. Doesn’t Have Any Rock And Roll Museums The 7 Types of Procrastinator Sexy and Confusing Lessons from the Online Fitness Industry The CIA Is In Crisis Mode After ISIS Made Its Instagram Private Grocery Store Bar Actually Has Great Little Happy Hour, Reports Man With A Serious Problem Tim Burton Worried He Going Through A Bit Of A 14-Movie Slump Law School Applications Increase Upon Realization That Any Fucking Idiot Can Be Lawyer Trump Accuses Voters Of Meddling In Midterms Ingenious Political Analyst Points Out Irony Of Melania Trump Speaking Out Against Cyber Bullying When Her Husband Donald Trump Tips For Pulling An All-Nighter Emotional Elon Musk Recalls Spending Entire Birthday Working On Concepts For Mistreating Employees Trump Cancels Military Parade, Citing Price Lunch Place Uses Way Too Much Mayo In Fruit Salad Secretary Of Education Reveals She’s Forced To Use Own Salary On Yacht Supplies Icy Cave At Peak Of Andes Mountains Now Sole Remaining Place On Earth Where You Can Escape This The Strange Life of a Costco Food Sample Michael Cohen Relieved To Remember It Illegal To Charge Lawyer With Crime Penny Not So Lucky For Tortured Soul Of Lincoln Trapped Inside India Rolls Out Healthcare For 500 Million People The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 20, 2018 New York Times Presents 36 Hours Inside Your Own Head In Over His Head and Under Senate House Arrest My Only Regret Is That I Have But 96 Lives Per Day To Give For My Country by Wayne LaPierre The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews the Mean Guys Snake Poses on a Plane Editorial: The So-Called ‘President’ Must Be Held to Account for Attacking the Free Press Hollywood Launching Cinematic Universe About Fruit Spotify May Allow Unlimited Ad Skipping For Free Users If You Do This While Driving a Convertible, Things Will Definitely End Badly Support Women (If You Know One) Ditching Tight Pants Improves Sperm Count Conch Shell Opens Up During a Weekend in the Hamptons West Hollywood Urges Removal of Trump’s Walk of Fame Star Game Host Vanna White Resigns From Wheel of Fortune After 35 Years World’s Religious Leaders Admit They Just Love Getting To Wear Frilly Little Gowns And Having A Blast I Didn’t Spend Four Years at Juilliard Studying Percussion To Be Called “Mr. Tambourine Man” Germany Running Out Of Beer Bottles Server Unbelievably Touched To Be Asked Own Opinion On Whether Enchiladas Or Burger Better Choice ‘Listen, No Normal Person Is Going To Sign Up To Be A Priest’ A 49-Year-Old’s Thoughts While Walking the Dog Portrait Next To Coffin Most Likely The Deceased 4 Great Feelings That Will Make You Go Niiiiiice ‘Paw Patrol’ Writers Defend Episode Where German Shepherd Cop Shoots Unarmed Black Lab 17 Times In Back Girlfriend Slowly Becoming Radicalized By New Skin-Care Blog Pros And Cons Of Mobile Payment Apps Should The NFL Eliminate The Off-Season? Man Not Even The Hot Kind Ice In Urinal Just Cherry On Top For Man Who Came To Club To Drink Piss NASA Scientists Make Life-Changing Discovery But You Kind Of Had To Be There SatireWorld’s Douchebag of the Week…..Gov. Andrew Cuomo Fantasy Novel Not Holding Back On Criticisms Of Dwarvish Culture Head On Pike Really Pulling Together Castle’s Look Hotshot Peasant Has Window Pretentious Peasant Insists He Never Watches Beheadings Trumpet Player Wishes Someone Would Sound Horns For Him When He Entered Castle Gates For Once Knights Organization Denies Claims That Overhunting Could Lead To Extinction Of Dragons Church Masses Going Wild Over Catchy New Gregorian Chant Jason Momoa Reveals He Spent Months Becoming Useless Dumbass To Get Into Character For ‘Aquaman’ Trump Escalates Feud with Former Aide Frederick Douglass Star Wars News Net Joins Hundreds Of Publications In Condemning Trump’s Attacks On The Press Methadone Clinic Must Be Having Some Sort Of Big Party Someone Robbed That KFC Again Trump Locked Out Of White House After Accidentally Revoking Own Security Clearance Colin Hanks Is The Better Hanks, Fight Me Fox News Apologizes For Mistaking Patti LaBelle For Aretha Franklin The 6 Types of People That Say “I’m Just Gonna Leave This Here” in Movies NBCU Readying Streaming Service That Pays Viewers To Watch It   Should The MLB Ban Infield Shapeshifting? 8 Stages Of Deciding Dinner With Your Significant Other White House Honors Aretha Franklin By Not Releasing Official Statement On Her Death MoviePass Attempts To Increase Profitability By No Longer Mailing Out Free $500 A Month To Subscribers Diversity Is So IN Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart…”I make His Fo Schizzle Sizzle” | You make the news…We report it! How To Keep Your Smartphone From Ruining Your Vacation I’m the Boyband Member Everyone Always Forgets Allow Me To Demon ‘Strate NOAA Lowers Warnings For Atlantic Hurricane Season FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe Whoa, I Saw The Mummy That’s Been Chasing Us Without His Bandages and He’s Actually Really Handsome Biblical Scholars Have Discovered That Christ’s Eyes Were Much Lower Down On His Face Than Previously Believed Surgeon Pretty Bummed About Losing Patient, But It Not Like They Were Good Friends Or Anything President Revokes Security Clearance Of Macaulay Culkin More Than 100 U.S. Newspapers Plan Editorials Decrying Trump’s Attacks On Media The Onion’s Guide To ‘The Great British Baking Show’ The Onion Reviews ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Fantasizing Priest Accidentally Turns Communion Wafer Into Body Of Altar Boy Swamp Thing – Will Durst, Humor Times The Problem With Doing What You Love For A Living Man Guessing He’s Stared At Giant Sequoia Long Enough To Appreciate It Senate Republicans Promise There Will Be Plenty Of Time To Review Kavanaugh Writings When They Become Law Of Land North, South Korea Agree To Summit In Pyongyang

Fake News

DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing

Spacious DS-1 Orbital Battle Station w/View

Geonosis, Arkanis Sector, Outer Rim Territories

7,599 Imperial Credits per night. Weekly and monthly available.

five stars 943 Reviews

173,164 Guests | Multi-family Dwelling | 86,582 Bedrooms | 86,582 Beds  | 1 Bath

(Haha, jk, actually 34,309 Master Baths stocked with Kyber Foaming Bath Crystals)

This home is on people’s minds.
It’s been viewed 500+ times in the past week.

Palpatine and Vader

Sheev and Anakin

The Space

6,712,194,336,749 square feet of palatial splendor, designed with the ruling class in mind. Nestled in the beautiful peach tree-lined ionosphere of planet Geonosis. Close to major shopping and mass transit. Short drive to schools and Naboo Walmart Supercenter.

Nightspot Chalmun’s Cantina on nearby planet Tatooine features exotic dancers, some with over 20 breasts. Downside: weird-ass jazz combo only knows one song.

Great for those days when you’re in a bad mood and just “wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet.”

Think Space Camp with a twist!

Pet Policy

Pets are permitted with some restrictions. Wookies must be on leash at all times and muzzled. Loth-cats must be declawed and have proof of shots. 50 Imperial Credit deposit. Banthas require a 150,000 Imperial Credit deposit.

Guest Access

Guests have full access to all levels of the Orbital Battle Station w/ the exceptions of the Overbridge and Imperial Conference Room. If you enter one of the restricted areas you will be summarily executed and jettisoned into deep space. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Interaction with Guests

We love our guests and want you to feel right at home. So please feel free to approach us at any time with any questions about the facilities or just to play a quick pickup B-ball or Canasta game.

Your 1.7 million roommates are all trained salad chefs with high-powered Presto Salad Shooters, so whenever you get the salad munchies, you’re covered.

By the way, your housemates may look like Imperial Stormtroopers, but they’re actually Mormons whose bikes are in pawn shops, so no worries about late night rock music.

One word of caution: you might wanna avoid using the words “surely you don’t believe in that ancient religion” when discussing their Mormon faith.


11,300 fully-equipped gyms with Jacuzzis.

Protected by ADP Failsafe Security. Guaranteed 100% complete protection from Jedi fighter attacks, asteroid fields, and far-flung Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Coolest fucking doors ever!

Suppository-shaped, toaster-based personal assistant included at no additional charge. Makes weird, annoying noises, but remote control has a mute feature.

Superlaser Concave Dish Network with 143,000 channels, including the James Earl Jones Comedy Mashup, the Algarian Game Show Channel, and Nitrogen.

Tractor beam emitters make for speedy removal of any stealthy Jehovah’s Witnesses that ADP should miss.

Full use of HoloNet Wi-Fi network powered by Comcast. And good luck with that.

Pari-mutuel betting at Jar-Jar Binks Memorial Stables and Racing Arena on Level 40.

Entire facility sprayed with “Walking Carpet”-Fresh.

Snack Pack fruit cups preserved in Corbomite in each personal room fridge.

112-foot nitrogen-cooled IMAX TV from Best Buy. And good luck with that.

Habitable Crust Pizza offers free room delivery of a large 3-topping pie for just $8.99.

Yoda There Is No Try, Do or Don’t Do™ Laxatives available in all 34,309 bathrooms.

House Rules

  1. Do not “force choke” other guests just because they’re from California unless they are really annoying or mention In ‘n Out Burger too often.
  2. NO JEDIS.
  3. If your Wookie takes a #2 in the pool area, you’re cleaning that shit up.
  4. NO JEDIS.
  5. Do not use your lightsaber to kill cats unless they are really fucking annoying or mention In ‘n Out Burger too often.
  6. NO JEDIS.

943 Reviews

Trish  Five stars

Great weekend getaway! The rice pilaf was delicious and the view was spectacular! We’ll definitely be back!

Luke  one star

This place was terrible! Everyone there tried to kill me! But on the bright side, I have to admit the doors were really fucking cool.

Bob  Five stars

Great! The shrimp kabobs were delicious and the linens smelled so good! We’ll definitely be back!

Read more reviews…

Contact Info: S. Palpatine. [email protected] or just hmu on my Snapchat, sidiousbae.

Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.