Homepage / Fake News / DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing
List: The 5 Best Garnishes for an Egg Salad Sandwich on the Subway Fox News Debuts Premium Channel For 24-Hour Coverage Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez There No Way Of Knowing Whether The Vague Award Mom Won At Work A Big Deal Or What U.K. Parliament Rejects Theresa May’s Brexit Deal The Survival Guide for Open Mics Woman Rushes To Hide Fragile Objects, Cover Up Sharp Corners On Tables Before Boyfriend Comes Over Artists Draw Ugly Babies Lincoln Memorial Empty After Former President’s Statue Furloughed New Hampshire Legislature Passes Bill Naming Fentanyl State Opiate Furloughed Government Employee Using Time Off To Visit Local Food Pantry She Been Hearing About Photo Of Egg Breaks World Record For Most-Liked Instagram Post Cute Winter Date Activities To Do Right Before You Break Up Pros And Cons Of Pet Insurance This Dog Is Way Too Happy About Smelling Cancer List: You Won’t Believe the Names of Charles Dickens’ Top Five Male Porn Stars Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 15, 2019 Universe Admits We’re Here to Keep up with the Kardashians Man Crouched Inside Of Robotic Welding Arm Terrified Robot Will Eventually Take His Job Fed-Up EU Rejects United Kingdom, Gives British 30 Days To Vacate Europe Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet with R Kelly. Chuck Schumer Honestly Pretty Amazed He Hasn’t Caved Yet Progressive Populism: A Different Kind of Political Beauty GOP Leaders Condemn Steve King For White Supremacy Comment NBA Ref Petrified After Seeing Depiction Of Own Death While Looking Under Replay Hood Viagra Announces Real Medicine That Gave Customers Erections Was Confidence All Along Poll Shows Increasing Number Of Voters Blame Founding Fathers For Starting America The Gruesome Truth About Parasites [Full Episode] Victorian Courtship Etiquette That I, A Millennial Male, Am In Favor of Rekindling William Barr Assures Senate He Will Let Donald Trump Finish His Job Without Any Interference Government Shutdowns By The Numbers FBI Opened Inquiry Into Whether Trump Working For Russians I Just Found Out My Hot Gay Boyfriend Is Also My Twin Brother Tinder Announces App Will No Longer Match Users Solely With Distant Relatives Advisors Instruct William Barr To Avoid Referring To Trump As ‘My Liege’ During Confirmation Hearing Most Americans Blame Trump For Shutdown Furloughed Federal Employee Starts Online Search For New Government GOP Strips Steve King Of Post On Powerful House Segregation Committee 2005 Minnesota Vikings (with Rob O'Connor) ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Excited To Hear Series Will Finally Be Over A Computer Co-Wrote this Sketch Christmas Really Over, Man Realizes As iPhone Game Switches Out Holiday Icon R&B Singer Guesses She’ll Just Keep Moaning Into Mic Until Song Is Over List: Chuck Norris Would Like to Revisit His Facts Nation’s Idiots Announce Plans To Jump Off Their Roofs Into A Pile Of Snow And Break Their Fucking Legs Tips To Become a Better Job Hunter & Gatherer I’m Orville Redenbacher’s Dad and I Think His Popcorn Sucks Ass White Nationalists Accuse Google of Anti-Nazi Bias When He Doesn't Get the Hint [Full Episode] The Lemon Water You Drank in an Attempt to Detox Needs Back-Up Let Me and the 10 Demons That Possess Me Host the Oscars Locker Rooms Bilbo Gets Trolled The Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ‘I’ve Never Had Sex’ Interview Pt 2 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Instant Pot Recipes for Angering Everyone The Humor Times Needs Your Help! The Trump Family Intervention – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Chuck Grassley and Former Senator Orrin Hatch A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist Oh No, Did We Hurt Brennan's Feelings? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits: ‘I’ve Never Had Real Sex!’ | You make the news…We report it! List: Official Ranking of Every Hollywood “Chris” Ethan Hawke’s Body Found Dumped In Laurel Canyon As 2019 Oscar Race Heats Up I Will Continue to Block the Slide Until We Build a Wall Separating Our Recess from Mrs. Montgomery’s Class This Amazing New Anti-Bullying Campaign Reminds Kids That Even Though Bullying Might Be Fun, Rewarding, And Cool, It Can Sometimes Make You Tired List: What to Expect With Your First 18-Year-Old War I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason Fantasy High Binge Compilation (Episodes 1 – 8) I Have a Passion for Ecologically Restoring the Habitat of the Beast TSA Guy Circling Stuff On Boarding Pass With Reckless Abandon Advisory Group : “Being Speaker of the House Doesn’t Mean You Always Have to Have Your Mouth Open” Feeling Smart is the New Smart I’m Concerned My Cult Isn’t Sacrificing Enough Virgins Creating Rounded Characters (with Lou Wilson) You've NEVER Seen Star Wars?! Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Enemy Rita Repulsa Is Her Mother CIA Issues Posthumous Apology After New Evidence Clears Osama Bin Laden Of Involvement In 9/11 Attacks The Monster Under My Bed Is Addicted to His iPhone Study: Most Teens Who Respond to Acne Treatment Still Ugly After Xmas Gift Wish List Where Is AI Driving Us? The Family Dog Would Like Some Firm Rules on What Can & Cannot Be Humped Science and History Get Weird in WHAT THE F 101 [Official Trailer] Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 8, 2019 Tumbleweed Of Pubes Rolls Through Desolate Dorm Bathroom President Ends Shutdown After Disruption To Nation's Cheeseburger Supply Line Elon Musk, I Can Do Your Job! This Turkey is a Total TILF The State Nicknames Convention | Points in Case You Don't Actually Need a Menu It’s Not An Easy Thing To Admit When You’re Wrong, And That’s Why I Won’t Do It How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem An Amazon Warehouse Worker’s Year-In-Review Analytics Lin Manuel Miranda Said He’d Kill My Family If I Didn’t Inspire You This Morning Instructions for the True Crime Podcast Producers Investigating My Unsolved Murder A Planet Full of Appetizers The Body Isn’t a Wonderland: Some Suggestions to Improve Pregnancy My Resolutions for You in 2019 8 Reasons You Shouldn’t Play God (That Aren’t Some Bullshit About Morality) Don't Bother Fixing Your Problems

Fake News

DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing


Spacious DS-1 Orbital Battle Station w/View

Geonosis, Arkanis Sector, Outer Rim Territories


7,599 Imperial Credits per night. Weekly and monthly available.

five stars 943 Reviews

173,164 Guests | Multi-family Dwelling | 86,582 Bedrooms | 86,582 Beds  | 1 Bath

(Haha, jk, actually 34,309 Master Baths stocked with Kyber Foaming Bath Crystals)


This home is on people’s minds.
It’s been viewed 500+ times in the past week.


Palpatine and Vader

Sheev and Anakin

The Space

6,712,194,336,749 square feet of palatial splendor, designed with the ruling class in mind. Nestled in the beautiful peach tree-lined ionosphere of planet Geonosis. Close to major shopping and mass transit. Short drive to schools and Naboo Walmart Supercenter.

Nightspot Chalmun’s Cantina on nearby planet Tatooine features exotic dancers, some with over 20 breasts. Downside: weird-ass jazz combo only knows one song.

Great for those days when you’re in a bad mood and just “wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet.”

Think Space Camp with a twist!


Pet Policy

Pets are permitted with some restrictions. Wookies must be on leash at all times and muzzled. Loth-cats must be declawed and have proof of shots. 50 Imperial Credit deposit. Banthas require a 150,000 Imperial Credit deposit.


Guest Access

Guests have full access to all levels of the Orbital Battle Station w/ the exceptions of the Overbridge and Imperial Conference Room. If you enter one of the restricted areas you will be summarily executed and jettisoned into deep space. Sorry for the inconvenience!


Interaction with Guests

We love our guests and want you to feel right at home. So please feel free to approach us at any time with any questions about the facilities or just to play a quick pickup B-ball or Canasta game.

Your 1.7 million roommates are all trained salad chefs with high-powered Presto Salad Shooters, so whenever you get the salad munchies, you’re covered.

By the way, your housemates may look like Imperial Stormtroopers, but they’re actually Mormons whose bikes are in pawn shops, so no worries about late night rock music.

One word of caution: you might wanna avoid using the words “surely you don’t believe in that ancient religion” when discussing their Mormon faith.


Amenities

11,300 fully-equipped gyms with Jacuzzis.

Protected by ADP Failsafe Security. Guaranteed 100% complete protection from Jedi fighter attacks, asteroid fields, and far-flung Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Coolest fucking doors ever!

Suppository-shaped, toaster-based personal assistant included at no additional charge. Makes weird, annoying noises, but remote control has a mute feature.

Superlaser Concave Dish Network with 143,000 channels, including the James Earl Jones Comedy Mashup, the Algarian Game Show Channel, and Nitrogen.

Tractor beam emitters make for speedy removal of any stealthy Jehovah’s Witnesses that ADP should miss.

Full use of HoloNet Wi-Fi network powered by Comcast. And good luck with that.

Pari-mutuel betting at Jar-Jar Binks Memorial Stables and Racing Arena on Level 40.

Entire facility sprayed with “Walking Carpet”-Fresh.

Snack Pack fruit cups preserved in Corbomite in each personal room fridge.

112-foot nitrogen-cooled IMAX TV from Best Buy. And good luck with that.

Habitable Crust Pizza offers free room delivery of a large 3-topping pie for just $8.99.

Yoda There Is No Try, Do or Don’t Do™ Laxatives available in all 34,309 bathrooms.


House Rules

  1. Do not “force choke” other guests just because they’re from California unless they are really annoying or mention In ‘n Out Burger too often.
  2. NO JEDIS.
  3. If your Wookie takes a #2 in the pool area, you’re cleaning that shit up.
  4. NO JEDIS.
  5. Do not use your lightsaber to kill cats unless they are really fucking annoying or mention In ‘n Out Burger too often.
  6. NO JEDIS.
  7. NO JEDIS. WE FUCKING MEAN IT.

943 Reviews

Trish  Five stars

Great weekend getaway! The rice pilaf was delicious and the view was spectacular! We’ll definitely be back!

Luke  one star

This place was terrible! Everyone there tried to kill me! But on the bright side, I have to admit the doors were really fucking cool.

Bob  Five stars

Great! The shrimp kabobs were delicious and the linens smelled so good! We’ll definitely be back!

Read more reviews…


Contact Info: S. Palpatine. [email protected] or just hmu on my Snapchat, sidiousbae.




Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish