Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny Trump’s plans to meet with Pink Floyd.
By Robert Friedman
President Donald Trump today announced that he will soon meet with former members of the classic rock band Pink Floyd to discuss building the border wall between the U.S. and Mexico.
“Pink Floyd was huge and they built a huge wall for their famous album, The Wall, said Trump. “I remember that wall. Everyone remembers that wall. It was a truly huge wall for a truly huge album. Made out of bricks. Big success, that album. The kids loved it. Lots of units sold. That’s the kind of wall I want to build and with that kind of success. I want lots of bricks in my wall all in all. So of course I want to meet with both Pink and Floyd as soon as possible.”
Known for their progressive, psychedelic music, Pink Floyd has sold more than 250 million records worldwide, including 70 million in the U.S. The band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996. They last played together in 2005.
Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny the story. “It’s up to President Trump whom he meets with, of course. That’s why he’s not meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un again any time soon. Frankly, the crazy bastard reminds the president too much of himself. Anyway, President Trump gets together with lots of people from all walks of life to learn more about this great country of ours before he financially and morally bankrupts it like every business he’s ever run. I understand he also plans to meet with Elvis just like President Nixon did. That might be difficult for a normal man since Elvis has been dead since 1977. But, as you know, President Trump is far from a normal man.”
Added Trump senior adviser, Kellyanne Conway, “President Trump especially loves how Pink Floyd sang about not needing no education. The President loves the uneducated. So do I, but I especially love the uninformed. They’re really easy to manipulate with a string of contradictory but inflammatory statements that make no logical sense at all but help distract everyone from the Russia investigation. However, President Trump disagrees about us not needing thought control, and so do I. Thought control is central to what we’re doing here in the White House – and we’ll do more of it once we silence that troublesome free press.”
Commented an anonymous leaker on Trump’s White House staff, “President Trump remains committed to building the wall he promised everyone during his campaign, which is why shovel sales in Mexico and throughout South America have skyrocketed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eric and Donald Jr. get into the shovel business. Anyway, if Pink Floyd can help provide wall expertise, we’re all for it.”
Former Pink Floyd band members Roger Waters and David Gilmour were both unavailable for comment. However, Roger Waters was overheard muttering, “I’m a musician, not a bloody contractor. ”