Homepage / Fake News / Donald Trump to Consult with Pink Floyd on Wall
Scotland Yard Frees 163-Year-Old British Man After DNA Evidence Clears Him Of Being Jack The Ripper Disney Rehires Director James Gunn As Part Of Company-Wide Push Towards Embracing Pedophilia A Relationship Advice Column for Anthropomorphic Trains 5 Things To Know About Pete Buttigieg The Trial of a Dead Guy Grossed-Out Anti-Abortion Activist Has Change Of Heart After Seeing Picture Of Fetus For First Time Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 19, 2019 The Green New Meal The Top 5 Online Masters Programs for When You’ve Given Up on Your Dreams Operation Varsity Blues: Rich Is as Rich Does The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Melania Trump and Michelle Obama ‘Marijuana Has No Lasting After Effects’ – HORSE MANURE!!! The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 18, 2019 Thousands Of Students Forced To Attend Iowa State After University Sets Acceptance Rate To 140% President’s Cathartic Words Help Nation Begin To Heal Following Yet Another Senseless ‘Saturday Night Live’ God Really Dreading Visit From Older Brother Who Made Much More Successful Cosmos Trump: ‘Any Shooting Actually Inspired By Me Would Have Left Thousands Dead’ Man Wasting His Life Playing Video Games When There Whole World Of Other Screens Out There Clear Similarities Between Boeing 737 Max 8 Crashes Which of You Soulless Coworkers Ate My Slice of Cake From the Work Fridge? NCAA Launches Investigation Into Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off Recent College Admissions Scandal Apple Announces Tim Cook Mini Trump Vows To Bring Back Ohio Town’s White Castle This Smart Watch Tells You When You're Going to Die KC Masterpiece CEO Warns Against Society’s Increasing Reliance On A1 Area Man Much Happier, More Relaxed Since Joining Cult Colonel Sanders Was a Union Officer and Will Therefore Not be Cancelled Wireless Headphones May Pose Cancer Risk, Experts Say Lori Loughlin’s Mother Arrested in Prison Admissions Plot Honest Trip to the Doctor 4 Times I Failed My Driving Test Because I Tried to Bring My Examiner to Busch Gardens How to Survive St. Patrick’s Day Without Revealing You’ve Been Cursed to Take the Form of a Leprechaun Chicago St. Patrick’s Day Parade Finally Lifts Ban On Snakes The New Adopt A Writer Program Blade Runner Is Nerd Homework The Necromancer Could Bryce Harper Convince Mike Trout To Follow Him To A Giant Pile Of Money? So, You Thought You Could Just Buy That Thrift Store Jacket Without Consequences? You Fool! Should The NFL Combine Get Rid Of The 40-Mile Dash? Youth Climate Strike Takes Place In Hundreds Of Countries 5 Things To Know About Beto O'Rourke How FEMA Responds To Disasters Yes, James Bond Did Disarm You With Considerable Ease, But You’re Still a Valued Member of This Organization! The Trump Players and the Roller Coaster of Spin Jazz Reminds Fans Racist, Homophobic Language Has No Place In Good Seats More Women Forgoing Taking Their Husbands’ Names In Favor Of Something Badass Like Diesel Sleeping Over for the First Time Woman’s Solo Hiking Trip Shockingly Doesn’t Have To Do With Inner Journey Or Anything Dad Wearing Some New Kind Of Headphones That Wrap Over, Under, Around Ears What Is the Best Invention That Has Yet to Be Invented? Overwhelmed New Grandparents Finally Feeling What It Like To Love A Child Japan To Put Toyota On Moon By 2029 YouTube Presents: Comment Section Classics — A New Way to Experience Music Piece Of Shit Whom Everybody Hates Assures Himself It All In His Head Le’Veon Bell Stipulates Jets Contract Must Contain Immediate-Trade Clause Sceintists Eradicate Rubella, Bring Back Spanish Flu World Wide Web 30 Years Old Dog Feels Like He Always Has To Be ‘On’ Around Family Beto O’Rourke Announces He Starting Obama Cover Campaign Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life Antonio Brown Buys Pittsburgh Billboard To Thank Antonio Brown For Putting Up With City Open Carry: Canada vs U.S. California Halts Death Penalty Trump 2020 Budget Includes Plan to Cut Entitlements by Shooting Elderly and Infirm 2020 Presidential Candidate Pete Buttigieg Announces Bold Plan For 2,500-Mile Intercontinental Riverwalk Rahm Emanuel Breaks Ground On New Jason Van Dyke Police Academy ‘C’mon, C’mon,’ Says Matt Damon Desperately Searching For Own Name On List Of IMDB User Dolphinsoul60’s Top 100 Actors Butcher the National Anthem for $2,000 Welcome to Nextdoor Fight Club, Where You Must Turn Every Topic into a Fight Responsible Gym Member Makes Sure To Wipe Down Personal Trainer After Workout Anti-Vaxxer Movement By The Numbers Tennis Instructor Mentoring Young Player Sees Potential In Parents’ Income Experts Recommend Changing Batteries In Smoke Detector Every 6 Fires Concerning the “Automated Boudoir Companion” I Purchased From Your Catalog 5 Things To Know About Andrew Yang Experts Warn There No End In Sight For Venezuela Blackouts 50 Charged In College Admissions Bribing Scandal It’s Not Socialism; It’s What the People Want ‘Cops’ Turns 30 Religious Conservatives Argue Adam And Eve Would Never Have Been Banished From Eden If They’d Had Guns Guy Fieri as a Jeff Buckley Song Unsettling Study Finds Second Cousins Technically Fair Game Just Go Ahead And Tell Yourself Bribery Is The Only Reason You Didn’t Get Into Columbia Husband Buys Wife Tickets To See Singer She Wants To Fuck List: The Hidden Messages in Various Albums If You Play Them Backwards Early Warning Signs Your Workers Are Trying to Unionize Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 12, 2019 Man Playing ‘Battlefield V’ Has Now Spent More Of Life Fighting Nazis Than Grandfather Did USC Insists Lori Loughlin’s Daughter Was Admitted Solely Based On Socioeconomic Background Trump Complains About Overly Complicated Controls Needed To Operate Modern-Day Doors China Grounds All 737 Max 8 Planes Following Crash Nation’s Flag Nerds Anxiously Watching D.C. Statehood Push Giants Consider Drafting Quarterback To Mentor Eli Manning New Iowa Poll Finds Majority Of Democrats Would Vote For Candidate Named ‘Bobby Cheeseburger’ Stranded on the North Pole Easy Steps to Getting Your Pre-Baby Body Back Before Leaving the Hospital 5 Things To Know About ‘Queer Eye’ Season 3 Butterfly Under Immense Pressure Not To Fuck Up Timeline With Misplaced Wing Flap We Didn’t Start The Choir

Fake News

Donald Trump to Consult with Pink Floyd on Wall

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny Trump’s plans to meet with Pink Floyd.

By Robert Friedman

President Donald Trump today announced that he will soon meet with former members of the classic rock band Pink Floyd to discuss building the border wall between the U.S. and Mexico.

The Wall, Pink Floyd“Pink Floyd was huge and they built a huge wall for their famous album, The Wall, said Trump. “I remember that wall. Everyone remembers that wall. It was a truly huge wall for a truly huge album. Made out of bricks. Big success, that album. The kids loved it. Lots of units sold. That’s the kind of wall I want to build and with that kind of success. I want lots of bricks in my wall all in all. So of course I want to meet with both Pink and Floyd as soon as possible.”

Known for their progressive, psychedelic music, Pink Floyd has sold more than 250 million records worldwide, including 70 million in the U.S.  The band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996. They last played together in 2005.

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny the story. “It’s up to President Trump whom he meets with, of course. That’s why he’s not meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un again any time soon.  Frankly, the crazy bastard reminds the president too much of himself. Anyway, President Trump gets together with lots of people from all walks of life to learn more about this great country of ours before he financially and morally bankrupts it like every business he’s ever run.  I understand he also plans to meet with Elvis just like President Nixon did. That might be difficult for a normal man since Elvis has been dead since 1977. But, as you know, President Trump is far from a normal man.”

Added Trump senior adviser, Kellyanne Conway, “President Trump especially loves how Pink Floyd sang about not needing no education. The President loves the uneducated. So do I, but I especially love the uninformed.  They’re really easy to manipulate with a string of contradictory but inflammatory statements that make no logical sense at all but help distract everyone from the Russia investigation. However, President Trump disagrees about us not needing thought control, and so do I. Thought control is central to what we’re doing here in the White House – and we’ll do more of it once we silence that troublesome free press.”

Commented an anonymous leaker on Trump’s White House staff, “President Trump remains committed to building the wall he promised everyone during his campaign, which is why shovel sales in Mexico and throughout South America have skyrocketed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eric and Donald Jr. get into the shovel business. Anyway, if Pink Floyd can help provide wall expertise, we’re all for it.”

Former Pink Floyd band members Roger Waters and David Gilmour were both unavailable for comment. However, Roger Waters was overheard muttering, “I’m a musician, not a bloody contractor. ”

The following two tabs change content below.

The Humor Times is the “World’s funniest news source!” Sure, we like to inform our visitors, but in a playful sort of way. We believe political satire is one of the best ways to help folks let down their defenses and see things in a new light, as well as to help bring haughty leaders back down to earth. Plus, it’s just plain fun! The Humor Times magazine (delivered to your door 12x/year) is a great way to enjoy this brand of humor, it makes a wonderful gift, and SUBSCRIPTIONS are very affordable!

Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish