Homepage / Fake News / Colin Kaepernick Is Joining The Nike Boycott After Learning It Doesn’t Make Top Hats
‘We Will Never Speak Of This Again,’ Says Trump To Mohammed Bin Salman As They Dump Khashoggi’s Body Into New Jersey River Jim Acosta Immediately Decks White House Intern After Being Let Back Into Press Pool Percentage Of Unvaccinated Children In U.S. Has Quadrupled Since 2001 Health Experts Say Tackle Football Poses Little Risk For Children Whose Brains Already Don’t Work That Well Not Enough Dishes for Friendsgiving Yankees Avoid Luxury Tax By Moving Franchise To Offshore Location Is My Boyfriend Secretly In Love With His Roommate? (Love Advice) Woman Amazed She Found Perfect Partner Just When She Was Getting Desperate Enough To Accept Anything The Pilgrims Check In On 2018 America The Essential Infowars Supplements | Points in Case MTA Reveals They Have No Idea Where Voices Speaking To Everyone On Subway Coming From Over The River And Void Of Goods The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 19, 2018 NBC Unveils On Screen Graphic Informing Audience They Are Watching Football 100 Jars of Salsa How Writers Throughout History have Beaten their Writer’s Block Trump Tweets Second Half of List of 10 Most Boring US Presidents Belle’s Breakup Letter to the Beast What’s that in Rubles? – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times Post Office Privatization Is Not an Option To Debate a Predator I’d Like to Present An Argument Against Funeral Karaoke SatireWorld Celebrates ….’Santa and Machine Guns’ Event This Isn’t An Oversized Carry On, It’s My Emotional Support Luggage Democrat Stacey Abrams Gives Up Georgia Governors Race….But Doesn’t Concede Unhinged Lunatic Using Facebook To Spread Conspiracy Theories Khashoggi Assassin Hopes Bonus Check From Saudi Crown Prince Clears Before Execution Archaeologists Apologize For Murdering Last Remaining Neanderthal In Fit Of Crazed Bloodlust ‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby Should Carmelo Anthony Return To His Prime? ‘The Powerpuff Girls’ Turns 20 Metropolitan Museum Acquires Another Vase Hate Crimes Continue To Rise Speakeasy Patrons Apparently Unaware It Legal To Go To Regular Bars Again Kanye's Social Media Manager A Principal’s Tough Conversation with his Coolest Student Embarrassed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Can Only Afford American Flag Pin With 19 Stars Supercuts Now Offering To Give Customers Baths For $14.99 Single Female Praying Mantis Just Checking Out Online Dating The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews the Laughing Stock Disgusting Coworker Barely Even Washed Ass Before Leaving Bathroom Boyfriend’s Snack 200% Of Woman’s Daily Caloric Intake Wealth-Burdened Nation Grateful For Opportunity to Spend Money At New Onion Store Saudi Crown Prince Begins 100 Hours Of Court-Ordered Community Service For Murdering Jamal Khashoggi George R.R. Martin Admits He Struggling With New Book 5 Things To Know About Matthew Whitaker China Introduces New One-Uighur Policy Mother Feels A Little Validated After Daughter Who Stayed Out Late Gets Murdered Facebook Just Filled With Crazy Idiots Now Underfunded Public Schools Lacking Basic Support Systems Leave Students Perfectly Prepared For Rest Of Life Super Saiyans & Sauron Wildfires More Frequent Because Of Climate Change, Forest Management Relaxation Techniques For When You’re Feeling Anxious or Looting a Radio Shack Widow Still Can’t Bring Herself To Get Rid Of Husband’s Corpse That’s Right, I Made My Super Cool Best Friend Laugh and Now Everyone at School Likes Me Nation Getting Out All Its Aggression During Monthly Calls To Wireless Provider To Fix Service Pfizer Unveils New Double-Sided EpiPen For Lovers Female Director Asked If She Feels Comfortable Filming Scene While Nude Amazon Officially Picks New York, Northern Virginia For Next Headquarters Opie Taylor Actually Barney Fife’s Love Child Recently Divorced 40-Year-Old Struggling To Navigate College Dating Scene A TV Game Show Marketed Toward Acne Sufferers Hits The Airwaves Melania Releases Statement Calling For Removal Of First Lady From White House Nation’s Tourists Announce Plans To Form Circle, Clap Hands Around Guys Doing Flips And Stuff Nancy Pelosi Planning To Reenergize House By Injecting Self With Blood Of Young Representatives The Orb in the Woods Kids Naked Man Refusing To Let Unworthy Attire Touch His Body Until Launch Of New Onion Store Merchandise The Onion’s Guide To ‘Red Dead Redemption 2’ The Fantastic Bore North Korea Possibly Still Operating Hidden Missiles Bases Idiot Humans Love When AI Jumbles Up Words 45-Year-Old Loser Moves In With Parents Mark Wahlberg: New Movie "Basically Sucks" ‘He’s Not Right For You,’ Report Relationship Experts Who Must Not Want To See You Be Happy Hillary Launches Campaign To Raise $100 Million Or Else She’ll Run For President Poll Finds Voters Don’t Support Impeaching Trump Steve King Vehemently Denies Comparing Immigrants To People New ‘Game Of Thrones’ Trailer Reveals Final Season Will Be Cobbled Together From Old Footage NRA Publishes Tips For Staying Safe While Committing A Mass Shooting Natural Killers: A Message from an Environmentally-Conscious NRA Member New York City Announces Subway Just For Amazon Employees Now 5 Things To Know About ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald’ Thank You For Doing All the Work Surgeon General Confirms A Bit Of Blow Here And There Won’t Kill Ya The Internet In A Nutshell Trump Delivers Touching Tribute To Fallen Heroes Of WWE Political Ad Spending Hit New Record In 2018 Midterms Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 13, 2018 Your Horoscope Based on the Demon That Has Possessed Your Body Ecologists Discover 400 Species Of Charles Darwin Living In Galápagos Islands Kid Diving Into Pile Of Leaves Has No Idea There Homeless Guy Jerking Off In There Stan Lee, Creator Of Beloved Marvel Character Stan Lee, Dead At 95 Emmanuel Macron Calls For ‘True European Army’ Against U.S., Chinese Threats 3 More States Vote To Legalize Marijuana Woman Confident She Has The Safety Net It Takes To Achieve Dreams FEMA Assures Wildfire Victims Bucket Brigade Nearly Over Maryland State Line Study Finds Only 20% Of Seminary Graduates Go On To Become God Family Figures Grandpa Never Talks About WWII Because Nothing Interesting Happened To Him Sorry, I'm a Slow Eater

Fake News

Colin Kaepernick Is Joining The Nike Boycott After Learning It Doesn’t Make Top Hats


Nike has been under fire since revealing its new ad campaign featuring controversial former NFL player Colin Kaepernick on Monday, and it looks like the situation just got worse for the company: Colin Kaepernick is joining the Nike boycott after learning it doesn’t make top hats.

Yikes. It looks like Nike’s going to be dealing with this backlash for a long, long time.

Kaepernick announced his support of the #NikeBoycott in an Instagram video he posted this morning, in which he condemned Nike’s lack of top hat selections while setting fire to his Nike shoes.

“While I was initially grateful for Nike’s support of my protest against racial injustice, I am disgusted to learn that they do not make a tasteful top hat for the stylish gentleman,” Kaepernick says in the video as he began pouring lighter fluid onto his sneakers. “Nike, your refusal to include a single top hat in your extensive inventory is indefensible. You have lost my business, and I encourage everyone to join me in this boycott.”

For the remainder of the post, Kaepernick watches his sneakers fully incinerate while explaining that when he agreed to be part of Nike’s 30th anniversary “Just Do It” campaign, he was under the impression that if he needed a bespoke hat to wear to a formal ball or Victorian-themed gala, he would be able to purchase it from Nike.

Kaepernick concludes his video by declaring, “Don’t even bother checking to see if Nike sells waistcoats or pocket watches—these monsters know nothing of simple elegance. Don’t give them your business.”

Kaepernick’s impassioned support for the Nike boycott has already spread all over the internet, and with stocks for the company already falling since yesterday, things seem to be looking a little grim for Nike. The company may soon have to do some full-scale damage control, but with public figures like Colin Kaepernick condemning it for its failure to sell top hats, it’s unclear if Nike will ever be able to recover.




Source link

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

en_USEnglish
en_USEnglish