Homepage / Fake News / After Watching One Episode of “The Great British Baking Show,” I’m Ready to Judge the Break Room Bakes
Are You Addicted to Click? Conquer Your Year with CloseTabuary My Bhutanese Drama Students Want to Recreate “Son of the Mask” and I Have No Idea What to Do AR-15 Appointed As Secretary of Health and Human Services AR-15 Appointed As Secretary of Health and Human Services Charles Manson’s Body Still On Ice Due To Dispute Teen On Brink Of Experiencing Incredible Journey Of Motherhood Instead Asks Boyfriend To Use Condom The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 19, 2018 Area Ladder Never Thought It Would End Up A Bookcase Pet Turtle Going Hog Wild On Terrarium’s New Stick ‘I’m Going To Hell For Laughing At This Meme,’ Says Man Going To Hell For Helping Little Sister Get Abortion Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified I Won’t Eat Caribou Unless It’s Slaughtered By at Least a Somewhat Automatic Weapon 4 Ways for Audiophiles to Drown Out the Sounds of a Dying Cat How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman Opinion: Less Guns Means More Mass Killing by Cutlery Offering ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ Just Don’t Fly No More: Hot Air Always Dissipates Trump Renews Call to Promote Mentally Ill A Comedian Made a Joke About the Holocaust, and Now I Feel Unsafe Someone Broke Into Our Hulu Account An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything ‘Oh God, What Happened Last Night?’ Says Groggy Mike Pence After Waking Up In Same Bed As Wife Doubles Luge to Add More Men to Sled for next Games FBI Quickly Follows Up On Tip About Potentially Dangerous Man Who Killed 17 In School Shooting The Self-Applauding President… but Will He Go Blind? Uphill Skiing Competition Enters 6th Day Trump, Truth and the Lantern of Dreams Cute New Dog Helping Single Man Pick Up Tons Of Hot Shit The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews White House Advisor Stephen Miller Male Dogs Twice As Likely To Win At Westminster Dog Show Nation Hears Voices Encouraging It To Buy Gun What It's Like Being An Adult Getting a Credit Card For the First Time Raytheon Unveils Military Robot Capable Of Composing Poignant Poems About Horrors Of War The 6 Stages of Watching an Olympic Sport Episode 3: Calloway Day If Movies Had Honest Titles (February 2018 Edition) Archaeologists Unearth Ivory Trumpet Dating Back To Prehistoric Jazz Age Man Looking For Job That Plays To His Natural Talent For Half-Assing Things Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie Hi, I'm Paul Ryan, And I'm Pretty Much an Ogre At This Point North Korea Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling @TwitterSupport Your Platform Won’t Allow Me to Unfollow the American President In Exclusive Interview “World’s Most Interesting Man” Endorses SatireWorld New York City Pizzerias Rated by How Good They Are for Hiding from Your Ex-Wife Trying to Collect Her Alimony Check 3 Years After the Breakup, I Finally Stopped Drunk Texting My Ex’s Mom, Pam I Used A Robot To Write A Comic And It Got Very Weird The Cherry Pickers | HumorFeed New School Shooter Drill Includes Practicing Pleas To Lawmakers To Do Something About This Under New Budget The Department Of Housing And Urban Development (HUD) Is Now Just UD ‘Sports Illustrated’ Publishes First Swimsuit Issue Of #MeToo Movement Long-term couple say Valentine’s Day was ‘nothing special’ But I’m Oppressed! (SPOILER: No You’re Not!) (2/4) Tips For Treating A Bed Bug Infestation Veteran Congressman Can Still Remember When Inaction On Gun Violence Actually Presented A Moral Dilemma Thousands Of Dismembered Crash Test Dummies Line Newly Discovered Catacombs Beneath Ford Motor Plant Bad Polling Is Ruining Everything Woman In Commercial Doing Yoga To Narration Of Drug's Fatal Side Effects I’m Sick and Tired of Congress Politicizing Tragedies Like the One I’m About to Perpetrate John Kelly Apologizes For Assuming Everyone Would Ignore Abuse Allegations Like They Do In Military Stop Telling Kids How Easy They Have It White House Compare Potential Food Stamps Replacement Program To ‘Blue Apron’ Trump Surprises Melania With A Romantic Dinner For One Relationship Experts Say Mailing Body Part To Ex On Valentine’s Day Only Way To Win Them Back Donald Trump Spends Another Valentine's Day Completely Alone Lone, Weak Bystander Targeted By Pack Of Female Friends Who Want Their Picture Taken Chloe Kim Recalls Growing Up Under Parents' Intense Pressure To Just Chillax And Shred The Gnar Gnar An Olympian’s Guide to Having Sex with Athletes Living Under Various Forms of Government PetSmart Introduces Heart-Shaped Puppy For Valentine’s Day Stan Lee’s Cameo in My Life as My Dad Has Officially Gone From “Kind of Endearing” to “Where is the Film Crew Hiding?” 89% Of Husbands Planning To Surprise Wife On Valentine’s Day By Dressing As Naked, Chubby Cherub Funniest Poker Moments – Humor Times, Humor Times ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens The South is Rising Again ‘Peter Rabbit’ Film Criticized For Making Light Of Allergies The Cherry Pickers – Will Durst, Humor Times Shuddering Astrid Menks Comes Home To Trail Of Rose Petals Leading To Nude, Spread-Eagle Warren Buffett Schnauzers Rioting Outside Madison Square Garden Following Westminster Dog Show Defeat Snowy Mountain In Pyeongchang Figures It Can Withstand 1 Or 2 More Big Cheers Before Triggering Avalanche What All 17 Year Olds Who Aren’t Winning Olympic Golds Are Doing Teddy Bear Feels Terrible For Sparking ‘What Are We?’ Conversation Man Who Forgot To Buy Valentine's Day Gift Relieved To Remember Wife Passed Away Years Ago Hentai Message Board Features Surprisingly Close-Knit, Supportive Community Emily & Murph Wrote A Book About Relationships, Love, and Other Junk Obamas’ Presidential Portrait Revealed Five Moves the Trump Administration Should Have Made at the NBA Trade Deadline Rand Paul Beaten by Other Neighbor The Sunny Side Of The Street Trump Announces Plan To Replace Food Stamps With New Low-Income Foraging Program (satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #144 White House Now Just Holding Continuous Going-Away Party For Departing Staffers There Is No P.F. Chang’s In PyeongChang | Adobo Chronicles Congress Confused By $500 Million In Trump’s Budget Allocated For ‘Laser Stuff’ John Kelly Takes Responsibility For Failing To Properly Silence Victims Americans Gear Up For Valentine’s Day Ra Wins Westminster God Show Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 13, 2018 You're All a Bunch of Phone Zombies Timeline Of The U.S. Labor Movement Texas Schools To No Longer Teach Students About Autoerotic Asphyxiation L.L. Bean Ends Iconic Lifetime Return Policy Eddie Bauer Announces New Line Of Brown Clothes

Fake News

After Watching One Episode of “The Great British Baking Show,” I’m Ready to Judge the Break Room Bakes

Buy the Wine Cloud T-Shirt at Awkward T-shirts
dab on them haters t-shirt
I Believe in ReinCATnation T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Books Reading T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Breaking News T-Shirt Amazon.com
Arrow
Arrow
PlayPause
Slider



Janet’s Rice Krispie Treats

Right, then. It all comes down to proportions for this one. If the ratio of crisped rice to marshmallow fluff is even slightly off, the whole thing can collapse. But I have to say, I think you absolutely nailed the recipe on the cereal box. The taste of the mallow comes through beautifully, and we get a lovely crunch from the delicate Krispies.

However, it is a bit basic if I’m being honest. Perhaps if you had substituted a Cocoa Krispie, maybe even a Fruity Pebble, the end result would have been more visually engaging.

Still, it’s a delightful biscuit that you and the entire accounting department should be proud of.

Melissa’s Cake Pops

Oh, Melissa.

Once again it seems you were so preoccupied with presentation that you neglected the bake itself. I suspect you might have overworked the batter, or potentially underworked it, or it’s possible they were in the oven too long, or not long enough. It’s impossible to tell, I’m afraid.

I will say, you achieved a nice glossy sheen on the chocolate coating, and the addition of candy googly eyes represents superlative technique, but that’s not enough to save what’s unfortunately a rather underwhelming bake.

Oh, and while I have your attention, did you get my email about completely reformatting those spreadsheets? Sooner would be better than later!

Leslie’s Banana Pudding Topped With Nilla Wafers

Everyone in the office knows how much I appreciate a great pud, so my expectations were stratospheric when I saw this chilling in the fridge next to the communal LaCroix. And lo and behold, you managed to exceed my expectations by a kilometer.

The flavor of the banana simply sings, and it’s so clever how you added sliced banana to the pud so people know it’s banana and not lemon or something gross like that. The custard has set perfectly, which is a near miracle considering how many times I opened the fridge to check if it had set. And a nice, fresh-from-the-box crispness from the wafer biscuits. Some aerosol whipped cream would have put it over the top, but otherwise it’s difficult to find fault with a masterfully executed classic like this.

Well done, mate.

Joshua’s Vegetable Pizza

You definitely took a risk going with a savory pasty, particularly a cold, open-faced one. But I believe it’s paid off in spades.

You’ve got a stunning golden brown color and superb flaky texture from the Pillsbury crescent dough you rolled together to form the crust–a stroke of true genius, that. Then you have a uniform layer of fromage à la crème; too much and you would have run the risk of a soggy bottom. And the colors of the broccoli florets, fresh tomatoes, and bell peppers look truly dazzling.

That said, the vegetables are really more of a garnish, so I’m just gonna scrape those off onto my paper plate before trying it.

There we go. Much better, innit?

Kaileene’s Ice Cream Cone Cupcakes

Now this is what I call a showstopper. Conceptually it’s leaps and bounds beyond anything this break room has ever seen. Never in my life would I have thought to bake the sponge right in the cone! It’s bloody brilliant is what it is. And the piping work you’ve achieved with the canned funfetti icing is nothing short of extraordinary.

Now let’s cut into it–there we go, would you take a look at that delicate chocolate sponge, made all the more decadent from the gummy worms so evenly displaced throughout. And it tastes as scrummy as scrummy gets. This is professional level baking–and from an intern no less!

I’d say you’re the one to beat, Kaileene.

Robin’s Three-Tier Lemon Gâteau Victoria Filled with Fresh Passionfruit Curd and Raspberry Jam, Lined with Hibiscus-Lime Macarons and Topped With Fondant Orchids and Intricate Sugar Work

I mean, what do you want me to say? It’s a complete disaster, Robin.

I don’t even know where to start.

All this on top, the flower thingies, the giant bow made of spun sugar, it’s all too much. Is fondant even edible? I’m pretty sure it isn’t. Rainbow sprinkles, crushed Oreos, or fun-size Butterfingers would have worked a whole lot better.

Perhaps this is personal preference, but I simply don’t care for the combination of cake and fruit. Sometimes simplicity is best, and I think a traditional chocolate lava cake would have been a wiser choice.

Oh dear, it appears you forgot to remove the seeds from your passionfruit filling. Quite an odd yellowish hue to it, too. Best to forego the curd completely, and the raspberry jam while we’re at it, and replace them with butterscotch or Cool Whip. Finally, your macarons have smooth, crisp shells and chewy, subtly-flavored interiors–just as I feared. Maybe they’d be better dipped in hot fudge?

A huge disappointment all around, I’m afraid. Today just wasn’t your day.

Bill’s No Bake Cookies

Sublime. Exemplary mouthfeel. Positively scrummy. You should be immensely proud of this bake, Bill.

Good show, indeed.




Source link