Homepage / Fake News / 9 Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Trump Supporter in Your Life
Drinking Alcohol Linked To Long Life Wait, Start That Story Again Badass Churchgoer Doesn’t Even Have To Look At Hymnal 5 Ways to Quit a Bad Habit Open Casket Really Ruining Vibe At Funeral FDA Finds Euthanasia In Several Brands Of Dog Food Overheard Conversations | The Sleaze | UK News Satire and Humour Sex Education | The Sleaze | UK News Satire and Humour Survey: Genital Stimulation Maintains Popularity George, Amal Clooney To Join Florida Teens In Gun March Chiropractor Scrambling To Put Vertebrae Back In Right Order Before End Of Session AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (February 21st, 2018 Edition) Panicked Billy Graham Realizes He Took Wrong Turn Into Heaven’s Largest Gay Neighborhood Passengers Praying Uber Just A Hobby For Elderly Driver Man Just Going To Assume This Counts As ‘Minced’ Why Ron Swanson Was the Worst Character On Parks & Rec Nation’s Older Brothers Recommend Not Being Such A Little Bitch The Realities of Being a “California Girl”: SoCal vs NorCal A College Student Considers the Irony of Modern Life Was Being Transported to King Arthur’s Court and Charged With Saving Camelot Really the Best Way to Learn Self-Confidence or Whatever? Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 20, 2018 ‘Brain Games’ Recalls Thousands Of Defective Word Puzzles That Gave Users Alzheimer’s Man Crushed By Lack Of Filth On Q-Tip Pulled From Ear 90% Of Americans Strongly Opposed To Each Other Scientists Create First Sheep-Human Hybrids 14 Math Equations that Explain the Trump Administration Capsizing Boat Passes U.S. In Global Quality Of Life Rankings  Ant Hoping Queen Will Notice Pretzel Crumb He Got Her Olympic Figure Skating Inspires Thousands Of Little Girls To Drop Couple Hundred On Skates They'll Use Once How Twitter Addresses User Complaints Russian Bots Announce New Fragrance Line, Gets 1.3 Million Likes Up, Up, And Astray Are You Addicted to Click? Conquer Your Year with CloseTabuary My Bhutanese Drama Students Want to Recreate “Son of the Mask” and I Have No Idea What to Do AR-15 Appointed As Secretary of Health and Human Services AR-15 Appointed As Secretary of Health and Human Services Charles Manson’s Body Still On Ice Due To Dispute Teen On Brink Of Experiencing Incredible Journey Of Motherhood Instead Asks Boyfriend To Use Condom The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 19, 2018 Area Ladder Never Thought It Would End Up A Bookcase Pet Turtle Going Hog Wild On Terrarium’s New Stick ‘I’m Going To Hell For Laughing At This Meme,’ Says Man Going To Hell For Helping Little Sister Get Abortion Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified I Won’t Eat Caribou Unless It’s Slaughtered By at Least a Somewhat Automatic Weapon 4 Ways for Audiophiles to Drown Out the Sounds of a Dying Cat How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman Opinion: Less Guns Means More Mass Killing by Cutlery Offering ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ Just Don’t Fly No More: Hot Air Always Dissipates Trump Renews Call to Promote Mentally Ill A Comedian Made a Joke About the Holocaust, and Now I Feel Unsafe Someone Broke Into Our Hulu Account An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything ‘Oh God, What Happened Last Night?’ Says Groggy Mike Pence After Waking Up In Same Bed As Wife Doubles Luge to Add More Men to Sled for next Games FBI Quickly Follows Up On Tip About Potentially Dangerous Man Who Killed 17 In School Shooting The Self-Applauding President… but Will He Go Blind? Uphill Skiing Competition Enters 6th Day Trump, Truth and the Lantern of Dreams Cute New Dog Helping Single Man Pick Up Tons Of Hot Shit The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews White House Advisor Stephen Miller Male Dogs Twice As Likely To Win At Westminster Dog Show Nation Hears Voices Encouraging It To Buy Gun What It's Like Being An Adult Getting a Credit Card For the First Time Raytheon Unveils Military Robot Capable Of Composing Poignant Poems About Horrors Of War The 6 Stages of Watching an Olympic Sport Episode 3: Calloway Day If Movies Had Honest Titles (February 2018 Edition) Archaeologists Unearth Ivory Trumpet Dating Back To Prehistoric Jazz Age Man Looking For Job That Plays To His Natural Talent For Half-Assing Things Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie Hi, I'm Paul Ryan, And I'm Pretty Much an Ogre At This Point North Korea Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling @TwitterSupport Your Platform Won’t Allow Me to Unfollow the American President In Exclusive Interview “World’s Most Interesting Man” Endorses SatireWorld New York City Pizzerias Rated by How Good They Are for Hiding from Your Ex-Wife Trying to Collect Her Alimony Check 3 Years After the Breakup, I Finally Stopped Drunk Texting My Ex’s Mom, Pam I Used A Robot To Write A Comic And It Got Very Weird The Cherry Pickers | HumorFeed New School Shooter Drill Includes Practicing Pleas To Lawmakers To Do Something About This Under New Budget The Department Of Housing And Urban Development (HUD) Is Now Just UD ‘Sports Illustrated’ Publishes First Swimsuit Issue Of #MeToo Movement Long-term couple say Valentine’s Day was ‘nothing special’ But I’m Oppressed! (SPOILER: No You’re Not!) (2/4) Tips For Treating A Bed Bug Infestation Veteran Congressman Can Still Remember When Inaction On Gun Violence Actually Presented A Moral Dilemma Thousands Of Dismembered Crash Test Dummies Line Newly Discovered Catacombs Beneath Ford Motor Plant Bad Polling Is Ruining Everything Woman In Commercial Doing Yoga To Narration Of Drug's Fatal Side Effects I’m Sick and Tired of Congress Politicizing Tragedies Like the One I’m About to Perpetrate John Kelly Apologizes For Assuming Everyone Would Ignore Abuse Allegations Like They Do In Military Stop Telling Kids How Easy They Have It White House Compare Potential Food Stamps Replacement Program To ‘Blue Apron’ Trump Surprises Melania With A Romantic Dinner For One Relationship Experts Say Mailing Body Part To Ex On Valentine’s Day Only Way To Win Them Back Donald Trump Spends Another Valentine's Day Completely Alone Lone, Weak Bystander Targeted By Pack Of Female Friends Who Want Their Picture Taken Chloe Kim Recalls Growing Up Under Parents' Intense Pressure To Just Chillax And Shred The Gnar Gnar An Olympian’s Guide to Having Sex with Athletes Living Under Various Forms of Government PetSmart Introduces Heart-Shaped Puppy For Valentine’s Day Stan Lee’s Cameo in My Life as My Dad Has Officially Gone From “Kind of Endearing” to “Where is the Film Crew Hiding?”

Fake News

9 Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Trump Supporter in Your Life

Buy the Wine Cloud T-Shirt at Awkward T-shirts
dab on them haters t-shirt
I Believe in ReinCATnation T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Books Reading T-Shirt Amazon.com
Funny Breaking News T-Shirt Amazon.com

The holidays are right around the corner, and once again you feel obligated to buy gifts for your friends and family. Yes, even the ones who voted for Trump and are known for posting in ALL CAPS on every social media platform known to man.

Behold! The ultimate gift guide for the Donald Trump supporter in your life. Because if they’re still willing to back Donny, even knowing that he’s a mustache-twirling cartoon villain come to life, they probably still believe in the magic of Santa Claus, too – and that type of delusion deserves a present.

1. Trump Twitter Bot

Do you know someone who wants to tweet out asinine messages, but feels limited by their lack of creativity? Do the bombastic words of Donald Trump leave your relatives feeling hopeful and smug?

Enter the perfect Christmas gift: The Trump Twitter Bot. This Twitter account “checks for new @realDonaldTrump tweets every 5 min & transforms them into correct Presidential statement format.” Instantly add authority to even the strangest of tweets, ready to be retweeted or posted as new. The Trump Twitter Bot relies heavily on racial slurs, propaganda, and made-up words to convey its points in official fashion – your family will covfefe it.

2. An Inconvenient Truth

Watch as one former presidential candidate breaks down the facts on global warming, and then proceed to Twitter to decipher the current president-elect’s psychotic ramblings on the issue: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

3. A Donation to the International Rescue Committee

Want to get under your neo-Nazi relative’s skin while also benefiting the greater good? Donate to organizations like the International Rescue Committee in their name and sign your gift lovingly from “The Wall.”

4. Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules for Success by Ivanka Trump

Everyone’s favorite first lady, er, first daughter, wrote a book. Buy this stocking stuffer for the woman in your life who needs to work on her work ethic. Is your aunt Sheila still trying to work her way up the corporate ladder, despite not having a single rich relative in her chosen industry? Did your cousin choose to have children, but can’t afford to hire a nanny and personal chef? Ivanka gives practical advice – such as congregating with other peasants to see if they know anyone who’s hiring.

5. Tiny Gloves

For your favorite dude with super tiny hands. If you didn’t immediately think of the man in your life who’s known for speaking too closely to your face, giving you hugs when you repeatedly say you don’t want them, and is keen on wearing his shirt tucked into his underwear, then it might be high time to find a new social circle.

6. A Donation to Planned Parenthood

Speaking of causing your redneck uncle’s temper to flare, why not send a sizable donation to Planned Parenthood in his name? You’ll be helping people receive the medical attention they need and sticking it to your family during the process. Happy holidays.

7. Tiffany Trump’s Hit Single “Like A Bird (feat. Sprite & Logic)

Tiffany is “the other daughter,” not the one Donald not-so-secretly wants to bang (shout out to Ivanka). Although Tiffany might not be as well known, she has ventured down the rabbit hole like fellow heiress Paris Hilton in the struggle to steal some spotlight despite having no musical talent.

Give the gift of her jarring, breathy song to your loved one and it will be stuck in the recipient’s head until the next presidential election – it’s up to you to decide whether this is a gift or a punishment.

8. A Cozy Robe

You want to buy the Trump supporter in your life a robe for the holidays. You know, for snuggling up around the house while watching Hallmark movies and drinking coffee in. However, they might be disappointed to receive any kind of robe that’s not white with a pointed hood – just a head’s up!

9. What Happened by Hillary Clinton

For the special someone in your life who’s downright nasty. This compelling memoir by presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton will serve as a potent reminder of how things could have gone differently. You know, had a sane human being been chosen to represent our country.

Still stumped on what to get the special someone in your life who’s known for having the wool pulled over their eyes? You can never go wrong with a trip to Mexico.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Source link