1. Chelsea Clinton tells us what to write
This is honestly such a laughable accusation. You think Chelsea Clinton – who has enough money, power, and influence to get herself in at almost any legitimate news outlet she wants – would take time out of her day to tell CollegeHumor what to write? That’s crazy.
Chelsea Clinton never tells us what to write. Her assistant does.
2. We’re all a bunch of liberals
We’re not all liberals – honestly, there’s a wide array of political beliefs and identities here at CollegeHumor, just as there would be in any workplace.
Sure, plenty of people here would call themselves liberal, but many others would say they’re Stalinists, Maoists, Marxists, Trotskyists, Dirtbag Leftists, Democratic Socialists, Leninists, Anarcho-Communists, Third Wave Socialists, Communists, etc.
3. We’re just Buzzfeed now
Anytime we make a list article of tweets or a video involving the cast doing something silly (like reviewing weird Amazon products), we get accused of being Buzzfeed. Because Buzzfeed apparently owns every concept of internet content, I guess? Even though pretty much everything they’re well-known for started someplace else? Hard to say, really. Just seems like anytime anyone makes any kind of content people don’t like, they get accused of “turning into Buzzfeed.”
I WISH we were Buzzfeed. We don’t get champagne when WE embed a Tumblr post about a dress.
Yes, BuzzFeed is having champagne to celebrate THE DRESS because it’s one of our biggest posts ever in history. pic.twitter.com/FVjIHtWlub
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) February 27, 2015
4. We’re not as funny as we used to be
Everything seems better with hindsight goggles on – nostalgia clouds everything and the assumption is that the old days were definitely better than the present. Maybe you just remember the early days of CollegeHumor more fondly because you miss the earlier days of your life – back when you had less responsibility and more time to goof around with friends? Or maybe you liked the style of CollegeHumor’s comedy more from our earlier days, and as we’ve grown and evolved our voice, we’re appealing to other people more than you? The point is – comedy is subjective, so it’s hard to gauge.
Well, of course we’re not as funny as we used to be. No one can keep up this level of hilarity forever:
5. We’re a bunch of stupid morons with ugly faces and big butts, and our butt smells and we like to kiss our own butts.
HEY WAIT A MINUTE!