When it comes to imagining what life is like in Hawaii, we’ve all got a lot of ideas — whales breaching beneath a perfectly symmetrical rainbow, bikini’d surfers emerging from the water in slow motion, getting lei’d all over the place. Turns out, that’s not exactly right.
Below, 13 things NOT to expect from your Hawaiian getaway.
Random acts of hula.
Everything about this.
Looking more or less decent next to a Hawaiian dancer.
Getting lei’d at the airport … at your hotel … while standing in a buffet line.
Your fellow surf students to look like this.
A breeze that fully supports picture perfect hair and a “Titanic” moment.
Sexy beach selfies — sans wind, sand everywhere, squinting.